Casual Temple

TRANSCRIPT

(Transcript is auto-generated; errors are unintentional.)

00:00:07 Merrily

Welcome to Episode 36 of the Casual Temple, and I'm your host, Merrily Duffy. Here at Casual Temple, we are discovering our connection to the unseen world of spirit, and how that empowers us to know our true selves. A free and easy way to support the show is to subscribe.

00:00:22 Merrily

And leave a star review on your favorite podcast platform. We love to hear from our listeners, so shoot us a note on casualtemple.com. You can also sign up for the mailing list where you'll be entered to win a free reading from me. Merrily we draw a winner every month and your name stays in until you win. Today we're chatting with the incredible Ron.

00:00:39 Merrily

His thoughts a transformative coach with PhD in psychology and a doctorate in chiropractic medicine. I loved hearing about Ron's journey to becoming a best selling author and transformative coach. One thing we talked about is how he taught himself to meditate as a child. Ron has meditated for over 30,000 hours in his lifetime, and he shares the incredible power of breath work, which is essential for enhancing.

00:00:59 Merrily

Mindfulness and healing. They also explore how authentic leadership can foster a more compassionate and conscious world. You want to stick around for this conversation because here at Casual Temple podcast, we keep things real and surreal.

00:01:12 Merrily

Welcome to the casual temple. This week we have the wonderful opportunity to chat with transformative coach Dr. Ron Stotts, who is a three time best selling author with a PhD in psychology and is a Doctor of Chiropractic Medicine.

00:01:28 Merrily

His explorations have taken him to the depths of ancient wisdom and up to the most current developments in psychological and neurological studies. Today we will discuss how Doctor Scotts guides individuals towards being authentic and mindful leaders to help create a more conscious and caring world.

00:01:47 Merrily

It's so great to chat about all the important work you're doing on casual temple. Thanks, Ron.

00:01:53 Ron

Yeah, that will be fun, yes.

00:01:55 Ron

That's good.

00:01:57 Merrily

All right. Well, thank you again for joining. We're just going to kind of start at wherever you consider the beginning of your path to kind of give us a little insight it to you as a person. So wherever you feel is the best place to start, have to hear.

00:02:12 Ron

Alright.

00:02:13 Ron

Yeah, it really started early. You know, I remember getting a little red ribbon for memorizing the 23rd Psalm first. And so, you know, and I was kind of. I was like, oh, I had spiritual interests. I had religious interests. And, you know, by 12, I started exploring other churches and synagogues and things because I just wanted to see what.

00:02:34 Ron

They're, you know, religions and things were about and by my mid late teens I was kind of more into nature as I figured that was kind of the best thing God had created on the planet. So I might as well just sit in the middle of it and see what I could learn. And and I did learn a great deal. And I started playing with breath, not really knowing that I was learning.

00:02:55 Ron

Anything but I'd just could hold my breath for about 3 minutes so I'd go into the lake in the summer and swim with the fish. And. But what I was really enjoy with these with these moments of silence and just the expansiveness that you know, I.

00:03:13 Ron

I remember not telling my friends what I was doing because it would have been very strange, but I was very comfortable with it and.

00:03:22 Ron

And now somehow that you know, and even though I was somewhat of a jock in many ways, I had this other secret side to me that I was always nourishing and and enjoying. And and I.

00:03:34 Ron

Really, I think it was. You know, I went in the Marine Corps in 1960.

00:03:37 Ron

7 which was like.

00:03:39 Ron

The worst thing I could have possibly done, but it turned out to be the best thing that I could have ever done, because in the middle of it I realized Oh my God, everything that I've ever been taught is going to move me to a position of killing or being killed, which I'm not. I'm not really looking to to do.

00:04:00 Ron

And and so I had to really just cut off everything and I had a great childhood, but I just went through a period where I I cut off myself from everything that I'd never learned because I didn't feel I could trust those influences. Like, who am I, what are, what are, what are my beliefs, what are the rules that I can live.

00:04:20 Ron

That are in alignment with with who I how I want to live, who I want to be. And so I really, you know, that's of course meditation started coming in. I didn't know what I was doing again at the time, but sitting quietly and breathing became, you know, what I was doing a lot of and.

00:04:38 Ron

And the the Vietnam, the whole that experience in the Marine Corps was so difficult that when I got out, I had a chemical imbalance. I was, you know, I was, I had lost my trusted in my two sons and got a divorce and my life was.

00:04:58 Ron

It's just an absolute mess and I didn't, you know it went.

00:05:01 Ron

From.

00:05:01 Ron

This everything is great life to this, this mess where I didn't know what to do and.

00:05:09 Ron

I finally decided to commit suicide after a couple of years because of all the highs and lows and the chemical imbalances and that kind of thing from all the trauma that I've been in. It lasted about 52 close friends in that war, so it was, you know, of course, I didn't know how to deal with that. And and it was very good at shoving.

00:05:29 Ron

Thanks, Dan. As most of us are and.

00:05:31 Ron

So, you know, I went out in the woods, which was kind of my home turf and.

00:05:36 Ron

Undecided after about 3 days that yeah, you know, committing suicide was the best route route for me to go. And I had a very nice size hunting knife that I'd been given when I was 12 and.

00:05:48 Ron

And I early the next morning, sitting against the Big Rock just took that honey knife and moved it towards my heart. And I was a very strong, big, young man, capable of doing that without, you know, really hesitation. And somewhere as an arm moved around and just.

00:06:08 Ron

As the point was entering my skin.

00:06:11 Ron

I dissolved in this white ball of light and you know, and I'm this is not familiar territory for me. You know, I lost any sense of my body and the world around me. And I was just bathed in this perfection and just bathe in this, this oneness and knowing and understanding the oneness.

00:06:31 Ron

And recognizing the value and the purpose of life. Not that I knew exactly who I was supposed to be able to do, but but just that deep, deep knowing of that.

00:06:42 Ron

And I have no idea how long that timeless experience lasted, but when I came out, you know that knife was, you know, 20 feet away somewhere, I'd somehow thrown it. And but I came out with this. Really.

00:06:57 Ron

What was that? You know, what the heck was that? And so I I just literally, I went up. We had a small cabin and I'm talking about our house, you know, wood stove type.

00:07:11 Ron

Gavin, on an island up north and I spent a great deal of time there just trying to, you know, reading the Bible, reading other philosophies, anything I could find at the time. And also, you know, it was a winter experience. And so I was just, you know, spent a lot of time walking. And it was very quiet. And I found myself.

00:07:31 Ron

Breathing, I found myself, my mind getting quieter. I started reconnecting with myself.

00:07:37 Ron

And that's really where my journey began. And and that's, you know, I I considered that a very difficult start, but it also.

00:07:46 Ron

Pushed me right into, you know, letting go of everything and becoming one with everything. So that really became like, OK, how do I do that anytime I want? And that's that was what, you know, my life. That's where I got to is. I meditated 37,000 some hours and got to a place where I.

00:08:06 Ron

Could move into that silence, those that oneness and that connection. Whenever I wanted and.

00:08:12 Ron

So then I started looking at, well, how do I make this applicable in the world? And that's where leadership came in because I was very good. I had centers in Switzerland and I could move people into.

00:08:22 Ron

The higher states of consciousness, but I saw to create a more conscious and caring world. I wanted to have the best thing I could offer was to help people move into more conscious and higher level leadership abilities so that they're affecting large numbers. So I work with people that.

00:08:43 Ron

And they then affect thousands of people. And so it allows me to extend what I'm doing in a dramatic way or fulfilling.

00:08:54 Merrily

Oh, that is. Yeah, an amazing story. And I'm happy you're here and happy that white light came down. And I'm so happy about that. Yeah, it seemed like it was a place. Yeah. He had a lot going on at that time. So for sure. So. And I'm glad meditation was there for you. So it's wonderful.

00:09:13 Ron

I'm glad I discovered that.

00:09:15 Merrily

Yeah.

00:09:17 Merrily

So kind of speaking on that, uh, did you have sort of support in your or guidance in your meditation practice like any specific your teachers or methods that you really like?

00:09:31 Ron

Not until later. I mean, I, you know, it sounds like I knew what I was doing, but the truth is, I didn't have. I didn't even know the.

00:09:38 Ron

Word meditation so.

00:09:39 Merrily

Yeah, yeah.

00:09:40 Ron

Just sitting in silence and and doing things. And so we're experiencing things. But I finally, yeah, I I met her. And as the universe does, I was.

00:09:51 Ron

Teaching at the time at the college level 1, I moved to Laguna to teach at a couple of community colleges are down in Southern California and.

00:10:00 Ron

The of course, the fellow there was a little room up in the back of the House that I was running and I had a nice spot, but he had this little tiny room that he lived in and so I'd see him.

00:10:12 Ron

Go past the.

00:10:14 Ron

You know, as he was leaving and coming and going and interesting guy and.

00:10:19 Ron

And I started talking to him. We got to know each other and he belonged to a spiritual community. And so I started going with him to this community and discovered what meditation was. It was a Hindu oriented meditation. So they spent about 10 years deeply involved in the Hindu traditions and.

00:10:41 Ron

And learning to meditate. And then I discovered Buddha and started moving into that direction for you know, 20-30 years and yeah.

00:10:51 Ron

I don't know.

00:10:53 Merrily

Ohh well, that's such a cool experience to have. All that meditation in your back pocket, because uh, that's pretty fantastic.

00:11:02 Ron

I'd highly recommend it to anyone.

00:11:03 Merrily

Yes, for sure.

00:11:06 Merrily

I do have a strange question though, because I was thinking about this. You said you it came naturally to you, so you kind of.

00:11:11 Merrily

Just knew how to.

00:11:12 Merrily

Meditate. Do you happen to think it was like you were meditating in past lives or something like that? Like that's Super Woo but.

00:11:14

Yeah.

00:11:21 Ron

Well, that's I think that's a worthy consideration, especially considering other considerations that I've had since. But I also think well and even that experience that, that near death experience that I had.

00:11:36 Ron

You know, I I remember kind of somewhat jokingly before I, you know, went to thrust that knife. I I kind of said, you know, God, if you have anything to say, this would be a good moment to say it heads up and.

00:11:56 Ron

And of course I didn't. There was nothing but the morning silence in the middle of the woods and. And yet I can't help but feel that I got a direct response from the universe. You know, I don't, you know, back in the when I was a kid, there was this God in the chair. And, you know all of that.

00:12:15 Ron

Image of reality and of course, at this point I just feel like the entire existence, all of all of multiverse and everything that we were somewhat aware of or dissolved into and expanded ourselves into is really nothing but consciousness, you know, so consciousness is.

00:12:35 Ron

Is is everything. It's the expression of everything. It's the result of everything that's expressed, and so I finally slowly come back to where that using the word God. But it's for that rather than any separateness at all. And because I just know there is no separateness. So.

00:12:49 Merrily

Yeah.

00:12:53 Ron

Your question, which I completely forgot now is what?

00:12:56 Merrily

Well, I think you answered it beautifully. I was asking if you felt you felt like it was sort of a past life thing. That sounds like it just your time in nature and then your experience was really you just naturally could meditate. You were just like, I just know how to do it, kind of what I heard.

00:12:59 Ron

Target.

00:13:11 Ron

Yeah. I mean, even as a child, you know, I mean, you know, 1011 when I.

00:13:17 Ron

I would train myself to to breathe and hold my breath and that type of thing and and, you know, to be honest with you, breathing now with my teacher is my trusted friend. That's what guides me into. And through any level of consciousness. And so, you know, breathing is really the the key to conscious living. That's it's.

00:13:22 Merrily

Hmm.

00:13:38 Ron

You know, just that brings you into and allows you to heal and expand into any level of consciousness. So.

00:13:46 Merrily

Yeah, I've heard in some of the practices and things I've done, they, you know, it's like you're literally breathing in, like spirit and energy, like, you know, so much of us. We only breathe, like, you know, not not every, you know, we don't pull in all the that. Yeah.

00:13:46 Merrily

Yeah.

00:14:01

A.

00:14:02 Ron

Big part of my work.

00:14:05 Merrily

Exactly. So it's like gotta bring it all.

00:14:07 Merrily

In.

00:14:08 Ron

Yeah.

00:14:09 Ron

Well, it's our connection. I mean, you're.

00:14:10

Yeah.

00:14:10 Ron

Breathing.

00:14:11 Ron

Oxygen is taken up by the plants and the trees and they bleed or and when you breathe out carbon dioxide and they take that up and we breathe in the oxygen that they release. So then breathing literally connects you just in a natural nature sort of experience to the oneness and.

00:14:29 Ron

But it also it's you can learn to use it as an elevator.

00:14:33 Ron

Quite literally, to move you into any state of consciousness, you want to move into, you know, to, to, to breathe in, to being breathed, to being, you know, to becoming the breath, to dissolving in in, in the universe, and becoming one with everything you're, you know, the breath is your vehicle that really is and so.

00:14:54 Merrily

Ohh beautiful.

00:14:55 Ron

Big fan.

00:14:56 Merrily

Yeah.

00:14:57 Merrily

Yes, yeah, beautifully explained. Thank you. So you did touch on sort of the leadership sort of things you were doing in Switzerland.

00:15:08 Ron

Let's go do this now. I'm gonna. I'm in transformational executive coach and my my intention is to create a more conscious and caring world. I mean, I've got kids, grandkids and such. And so I'm very aware that there's going to be people on this planet, you know, after I'm gone. And I want to make.

00:15:26 Ron

Sure that I'm leaving it in the best condition that I can not only just for them of course, but for everybody and everybody else. There a lot of other people seem to be.

00:15:38 Ron

Very clear that they'd like to destroy the planet. So if I can create the leaders who can consciously bring us into a more supportive path, and which I am doing and I am successful at that and I'm having a great time doing it and don't plan on stopping till I'm gone then.

00:15:48 Merrily

Hmm.

00:15:57 Ron

Yeah, that's that's worth doing.

00:16:00 Merrily

Can you tell us what a UM, what a conscious?

00:16:04 Merrily

An authentic leader looks like.

00:16:06 Merrily

If.

00:16:07 Merrily

Like an example.

00:16:08 Merrily

Of that.

00:16:08 Ron

Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, you know, a lot of times when people come to me, the the biggest challenge I see in leadership today is that they're looking outside of themselves for what they can only be found within.

00:16:20 Ron

And so they come in and they have, you know, they want to know how to fix their company or fix their relationship with their employees or get their employees to do what they want and be like they want them to be. And, you know, because they're running the show by with their ego, their ego is just satiating and affecting everybody in their organization and.

00:16:40 Ron

They don't seem to be aware of that at all, and they don't recognize that all the challenges they're having are really due to unhealed aspects of themselves.

00:16:49 Ron

So it doesn't take me more than a few sentences to get them to recognize. Ohh this is not an outside problem, it's an inside thing and and that's when they get interested in working with me. And I happen to be very good at.

00:17:07 Ron

Taking people down very deeply within themselves, I had a mentor. I don't know whether you know who he is, Joseph.

00:17:14 Ron

Gamble. Yeah. OK, good. Yeah. So Joseph and I were quite close. And he, you know, he talked about that cave that you feared to enter within, that you have to go to to discover the treasure that you seek.

00:17:29 Ron

And you know, so that then he also was talking about the hero's journey. And to me, the hero's journey is really healing. You're going into that cave and healing everything. And that's in that cave, you know, because the child.

00:17:45 Ron

You know, they come into the world completely helpless and they want unconditional love more than anything else because that gives them the sense of safety and that they'll be taken care of and survive. And so they'll do whatever they need to do to get that low. They'll become whoever they need to be. They'll what? What emotions should I show? What should I hide? What aspects of myself?

00:18:06 Ron

Should I tuck away into that cave so that nobody knows about them? And who do I need to be to be accepted and loved? And you know, early on they recognize they're not going to give that get the unconditional love that they wanted. So it's more about how much can I get and just, you know, to get by until maybe I can do something.

00:18:24 Ron

There but.

00:18:27 Ron

You know, so I help them. You know, a lot of times you probably hear it. People feel like they're not enough or they're not living up to their full potential. Well, the truth is they're not enough.

00:18:37 Ron

That's always startling for them. And then I add, you know, you're you're just not accessing enough from within yourself. It's not like you need more from outside. You need some trick or special, you know, gemstone or whatever when might look for. It's really within yourself and so.

00:18:57 Ron

They take people who like guide people on that inner joy.

00:19:00 Ron

Right where they become more self aware they recognize. Ohh I'm if I'm they have beliefs. Like if I love myself unconditionally, others won't like me and and then I say when now from a little child's perspective, what might happen they realize? Oh, I'll be alone and Oh well, I love myself unconditionally. I'll die.

00:19:20 Ron

Yeah, and that's a belief that so far everybody that I've ever worked with and that's thousands of people have that belief.

00:19:29 Ron

Or if I'm in my power, or what control is, you know, most people's definition of control is really once they step back and understand it, the definition for being out of control. So their integrity with an old belief system. But that old belief system is completely out of.

00:19:48 Ron

You know.

00:19:49 Ron

Out of sync with who and what they want to be now. And so as they acknowledge, express and heal that emotional backlog that they needed to shove away to be accepted as a child.

00:20:02 Ron

Then they begin to access more of who and what they are. They become whole, they become authentic, they become confident, they become more, they become a person that other people can trust because they're more vulnerable and and.

00:20:15 Ron

Safer to be around because you're more compassionate and empathetic and and you're looking at how do I bring out the best in others? I I haven't seen anybody go through this work.

00:20:25 Ron

You know? And then I've had some pretty scary people coming into it, but like, OK, but literally, as people go through this work, they naturally are looking for how do I connect and serve and support others more fully? How do I make the better world, how to make, how do I make my organization?

00:20:46 Ron

Better, how do I make my family better and that transformation?

00:20:50 Ron

That that relationship with themselves and being transformed to one of being more self accepting, loving then is reflected in their relationship with others and they become more, you know, empathetic, cooperative, collaborative, loving.

00:21:05 Ron

And to support it for everybody.

00:21:09 Merrily

Oh, that's great. So because I think in all of our lives, we're called to be leaders at some points, right at some point in our in our lives.

00:21:18

Hear you.

00:21:21 Merrily

So do you tend to work with? I I think you do tend to work with sort of like leaders of companies. Do you also work with folks in other capacities?

00:21:33 Ron

Well, you know, when I started off this, you know, my publisher kind of said, oh, you have to know who you're. And I was like, well, OK. And then, you know, work with everybody and doing fun. But OK. Yeah. And so that's what got me into the leadership thing. But what I found was, I don't have to.

00:21:38 Merrily

Right.

00:21:40 Merrily

Yeah.

00:21:51 Ron

Find these top level leaders and then transform them into being these conscious leaders. Anybody can become a conscious leader within about a year. It might take them longer to become the highest level. That 1% that I love to take people to because they all of a sudden there's so much ease and graciousness in their life.

00:22:11 Ron

But.

00:22:12 Ron

But everybody, once they've healed their past, once they've got that foundation to build their life on, once they, you know, really go through, it's about a nine month process. It seems to take for people to really that gestation period. Is that the right word? Not familiar with this thing.

00:22:32 Ron

With the you know it, it takes that time, you know, when I'm working with people, I see them kind of practicing because issues old issues are still coming up. But it's like, oh, here's.

00:22:43 Ron

You're, you know, and rather than being challenged and quit breathing, here's how you breathe and see the opportunity within any situation, every situation and and it's so exciting because all of a sudden.

00:22:57 Ron

Literally, if they find themselves not breathing fully, if they find themselves feeling something emotionally that they're uncomfortable.

00:23:04 Ron

Rather than reacting and shutting down and hiding, they breathe into that they they they see it as a gift. They see it. It's like, well, what's the opportunity? What part of me is ready to be healed now? What? What aspect of myself am I going to be able to access so that I can even expand further into my life?

00:23:24 Ron

To my work and to my service and to my love.

00:23:28

Now.

00:23:29 Merrily

Oh, such important work for people.

00:23:32 Merrily

Oh. Oh my gosh.

00:23:32 Ron

It's the most important work one can do, and I'm so thrilled to be in the middle of it.

00:23:37 Merrily

Yes. Ohh and I'm so yeah, I am so happy. You were kind of you do have sort of a focus on leaders of companies because you know I'm sure as you know everybody has their stories of unconscious leaders.

00:23:50 Ron

Yeah, yeah.

00:23:52 Merrily

So I think that's so, so wonderful.

00:23:56 Merrily

So speaking, go ahead. No.

00:23:58 Ron

Well, I was just going to say that unconscious leader, I I I saw it in spiritual teachers. I saw it. Politicians and business I sought across the board. And so it's not not in isolated to any one aspect of of life so.

00:24:04

Yes.

00:24:08 Merrily

That's true.

00:24:14 Merrily

Ohh my gosh. Yeah. Scream that from the rooftops is so true.

00:24:18 Ron

Hmm.

00:24:20 Merrily

But how can we like even even if somebody either in a workplace or in a nonprofit or in a neighborhood, or whoever, how can we all be more mindful?

00:24:33 Merrily

Just, you know, together, even if we're not leading at that point.

00:24:39 Ron

I'm not gonna sing Kumbaya. No, no.

00:24:41 Merrily

Good. Yeah.

00:24:45 Merrily

Me too. Yeah.

00:24:48 Ron

It's really a matter of.

00:24:51 Ron

I I so appreciate it. And yet it's difficult for me to appreciate it, but people are scared to death to look within themselves and become more self aware. They are scared to death of looking at that emotional backlog that you know and it's like, you know that there's that little girl.

00:25:11 Ron

There's that little boy in there.

00:25:13 Ron

That when when you were growing up, it had an emotional experience, that it didn't know how to process and nobody there was, you know, was there to help it. And so they said, well, OK, I better shove this down in my inner cave so that I don't have to deal with that. And nobody else sees them weird or different. And and that happens repeatedly.

00:25:33 Ron

Through our life, you know, I mean, I belong to a family where we're in an age too, where fear, you know, I I don't remember feeling fear as a child.

00:25:42 Ron

I really don't. That doesn't mean I didn't feel a lot of fear.

00:25:46 Merrily

Yeah.

00:25:46 Ron

That.

00:25:47 Ron

It was so unacceptable that that just wouldn't have been an option for me to to bring up and do anything with or process that. I'll even let myself be aware of it. But I also ironically lived in a family where anger was not acceptable, and so, you know.

00:26:01

Hmm.

00:26:02 Ron

It's like, well, you know, when a child doesn't get what they want, they get angry. And that's a little thing or a big thing, you know. And if I want unconditional love more than anything, and I'm not getting that because my parents don't know how to love themselves unconditionally then.

00:26:07 Merrily

Yeah.

00:26:18 Ron

I'm going to be angry, but I can't do anything with that, so I've got to hide that anger. I've gotta hide that hurt. That maybe there's they. They can't love me the way I want. I'm going to hide my fear that maybe I'm did something wrong. I'm not good enough. You know my shame that maybe maybe I'm not worthy of getting that love. If I can't get that.

00:26:39 Ron

Unconditional love for my parents well.

00:26:41 Ron

You know where else would I get it? And who else would be willing to give it to me? Fortunately, I found my wife, but but it really, you know, so all kids have this boatload of emotional backlog that that they need.

00:26:49 Merrily

That's wonderful.

00:27:01 Ron

That that inner child needs help. They need to be repainted by us, the adult, so that they feel like they're an accepted, safe and and worthy part of our.

00:27:10 Ron

Life, but and you know, and that might sound like a lot of work and really scary, but all everything that you need to be successful to make your life working in a in a, in a manner of ease rather than effort comes from that inner healing because you access all of who you are.

00:27:32 Ron

You know, it's an analogy that I use and I'll try and shorten it and.

00:27:36 Ron

See if it.

00:27:37 Ron

Still worked. You know you're driving in through life and you've got your foot on the gas pedal of life moving forward and you're doing as well as you're doing, and then trust me, the people who come to me are doing extremely.

00:27:48 Ron

Well, but it doesn't take much for them to recognize that they've also got their foot on the break of life and that that here they are with 60% of their energy on the gas pedal and 40% on the break. And it's creating that tension and struggle in their life. And I mean, you know.

00:28:08 Ron

I always have to say it's like, well, look how well you've done. You know, I'm running this race of life with one leg tied behind your back. Imagine if we undo that leg. You're gonna do amazingly well. And they do. Well, they do. Yeah. And so.

00:28:20 Merrily

Yeah.

00:28:25 Ron

Yeah, people don't understand that. All you're doing as you do that in your healing, all you're doing is becoming more self aware. All you're doing is accessing more of who and what you are so that you can become a complete, authentic, capable, comfortable, confident human being.

00:28:44 Ron

And you know and and yeah, it's a little scary in the very beginning.

00:28:50 Ron

But it doesn't take long before we're on this adventure and it's like, ohh man, where did I get that idea at home?

00:28:58 Ron

Let's breathe into this. Let's check that out and everybody gets excited because they're knowing who they are. They're going. Oh, well, that's why. Oh, well, that's the reason. And they also see that those are things that they can heal and let go of now and and become that person who with ease and and.

00:29:18 Ron

And ability.

00:29:20 Ron

Can not only take care of themselves, but others and and that's, you know, running their organizations, they do they affect you know, huge numbers of people.

00:29:33 Merrily

Yeah. So it sounds like, yeah, the scary part is sort of realizing that maybe you've been.

00:29:40 Merrily

You know, living somebody like a life that was put on you like, you know, like, yeah. And so now you're like ohh, like, you know, I wanted you. I want to be who I am holy, you know hold be.

00:29:47 Ron

Yeah.

00:29:56 Merrily

Thing and not you know it's that's scary because then you're like, well, if I am not the person I was is do I not have unconditional love? Do the people around me you know well they still love me. Yeah.

00:30:07

Leave.

00:30:09 Ron

The the the the thing that I've actually discovered is, I mean, my parents were great people. They really were and took me most of my life to heal from them. But I. But you know the they were kids, you know. I mean, Dad was coming home from World War 2, my mom.

00:30:29 Ron

And lived a really difficult trip.

00:30:31 Ron

And then they didn't, you know, love myself unconditionally. What are you even talking about? You want? And you're mad at me for not loving you unconditionally. And. And so they wouldn't have even had a clue what I was talking about. And, you know, unfortunately, when I had my kids, you know.

00:30:37 Merrily

Exactly.

00:30:45 Merrily

Yeah.

00:30:48 Ron

In the early.

00:30:49 Ron

Stages. I was pretty much in the same department.

00:30:52 Ron

You know, I was just surviving and trying to make it through and.

00:30:56 Ron

You know, fortunately, my older son I have spent a lot of time out in nature. You know, as we were adults. And so he was a much better parent.

00:31:03 Ron

Than I was.

00:31:06 Ron

And and his kids are actually much better parents than he was. So yeah, so it it's it's, you know, it's it's fun to watch people. You know, I'm godfather.

00:31:18 Ron

Put together and several kids there in the family and I worked with the mom and dad when they were just getting married. They were probably, you know, in their early 20s, early 20s.

00:31:28 Ron

And it's so great to see how having them having done the inner work and continued to grow for us and learn. But how amazing their kids are because they aren't coming into the world without a big, you know, emotional backlog that inner cave stuffed with.

00:31:49 Ron

Denial and and, you know, one acceptance of themselves.

00:31:54 Ron

You know, it's almost like we've got.

00:31:56 Ron

It's like a hoarder, where you literally, and that's what I'm helping people do, is I'm helping.

00:32:01 Ron

Them.

00:32:01 Ron

Start going. OK, well, let's can we get rid of this one T-shirt or this one piece of paper like? Well, well, my life depends on having that one and.

00:32:10

And you know.

00:32:12 Ron

I mean, you know, if you know that syndrome at all and but as they start to let go.

00:32:14

Yeah.

00:32:18 Ron

Just as in a hoarder situation, they get to a point where, yeah, let's bring this team in and just dump everything into the dumpster. Let's get rid of it all, because I don't need any of it. And then they can redecorate and and decide what their life is going to look like. And. And that's really what we're capable of doing. And we're capable of doing it within a couple of months.

00:32:37 Ron

That's all it takes. You know they've had.

00:32:41 Ron

Maybe three people who had.

00:32:45 Ron

Lives that none of us.

00:32:46 Ron

Would.

00:32:47 Ron

Want to have lived childhood that nobody would have wanted to live who didn't really get on top of things within a couple of months? That doesn't mean you you weren't continuing to grow and evolve, but it means you have the tools and the methods and the confidence and the ability to.

00:33:04 Ron

Handle things as they come up so that you know so that that's a that's a cool thing.

00:33:10 Merrily

Yeah, that's a cool thing. So is this. Do you mentioned a lot of breath work, you even sort of mentioned breathing into success. What does that, what does that look like?

00:33:19 Merrily

Sort of. The process with that.

00:33:21 Merrily

A little bit.

00:33:24 Ron

I keep you know, I I spent my entire life in this personal journey, so I I know a lot of different tools, but I've really narrowed them down to about a half dozen tools that I use and and one of them is the various variations on the breathing. But it's really that when people.

00:33:44 Ron

As they go through life, if they just notice when they're not breathing, which is a lot of the time, then that's that's your indicator that there's something going on. There's something ready to be healed.

00:34:00 Ron

So every time you're feeling an emotion that's just an indicator that there's you've pushed a button and there's there's that means something's ready to be healed, because otherwise you wouldn't. You know, you'd be numb.

00:34:11 Ron

Into it. And so every time you're feeling like you're struggling. Just ohh, there's another something, another part that's ready to be healed. But you learn to breathe into it and you learn to open to it and you learn to open your heart. You learn to open your mind and literally, neurologically, you know, you know.

00:34:31 Ron

That's a little drastic, but I'm literally helping them neurologically rewire their brains in this process, and they have come out with not only a whole new mindset, but they they have integrated whole brain thinking. They have four brain development that allows them.

00:34:45 Ron

So, you know, rather than their amygdala, the the fight or flight, you know, area of the mid brain, they have the forebrain taking over as the conscious leader that it's intended to be and that gives them an entirely new perspectives and reactive abilities that really bring out the the what's best for everybody, not just for themselves.

00:35:05 Ron

Of your place and you know the people who go through the higher level programs, the people who are who want to be high level leaders bring that, you know the best in everybody.

00:35:18 Ron

They get to a place where rather than thinking and trying to figure something out, they breathe and go into a quiet place and just request that information to come in.

00:35:30 Ron

In other words, and it's a kind of a meta thinking because it's really trusting an aspect of yourself that's far beyond anything you've ever recognized. You were connected with.

00:35:40 Ron

And so yeah.

00:35:42 Merrily

Yeah, that's great. Ohh, there's so many really cool things you said there I like like you're like, literally remapping people's brains. That's totally true. You're giving them new tools to, like, learn instead of the old standbys.

00:35:55 Ron

Yeah, yeah.

00:35:56 Merrily

That we're causing them fear. And then you said something about like, we're not breathing. It made me think of like times when I.

00:36:03 Merrily

You know, get either get stressed out or like something happens. I literally stopped breathing. Like I'm not, you know, because I everyday. Yeah. And that's like when you're like an animal in the woods, right. You're trying to, like, listen for the predator and you're staying really still and you're not breathing.

00:36:22 Ron

You know, but that also, I mean it's a good point to understand.

00:36:27 Ron

You're doing that so that you can be more in control. You're trying to remember everything and quiet everything down. That's right. But the problem is is you're shutting off your higher level, thinking you know, there's the primal brain at the top of the spine there. And then there's the mid brain over that.

00:36:46 Ron

And that's kind of the mammalian brain, but there's chemical gates between this mid brain and the cortex, the left and right hemispheres, and which is your highest thinking. So as soon as you tell your body you're in fight or flight, which is what stopping breathing does you disconnect or limit those chemical connections and also.

00:37:05 Ron

Then you've limited your capability of even having the best thoughts that you could have as to what your best next step is and and so you're really putting yourself in more danger if you want to call it that, and certainly more limited. And so you know, how can you possibly function?

00:37:18 Merrily

Yeah.

00:37:25 Ron

By you know, with the belief system and a reactionary system like that.

00:37:30 Ron

M.

00:37:31 Merrily

Ohh gosh yeah.

00:37:33 Merrily

And then the and then you're, you know, rewiring folks, their brain, and then it's more like a receiving instead of, like, I'm pushing out all my great ideas since, you know, like, well, my wonderful great like, well, you gotta get, you know, gotta.

00:37:47 Merrily

Receive.

00:37:47 Ron

Get out of the way the heck out of the way because that's the ego that's in the way. That's the trying. That's the mind. That's the effort that.

00:37:52

Yeah.

00:37:59 Ron

You know, you know and it's hard. I mean, I think in terms of most of the people I'm working with have gone to some amazing school. You know, I've, I've probably walked across the campus of those schools only. But, but I mean, you know, they went to Harvard, they went to these amazing schools, you know, not everybody but.

00:38:19 Ron

The Empress.

00:38:20 Ron

The number and so that brain got them into those schools that brain got them that that job. But what they don't recognize, you know, and and this is research, you know that that will get you so far. But then without greater self-awareness and emotional intelligence, you're going to lose that job. You're going to be.

00:38:41 Ron

And that's when they come to me. They're going what?

00:38:43 Ron

Happened. I thought I had it all, all squared away. I thought I had it all figured out and it's like, no, you had one tool that you use really well. And I want you to save and use that tool. But let's access the tremendous amount of other abilities that you have readily available, but you're going to have to breathe and get out of that head of yours.

00:38:52

And your.

00:39:04 Ron

Long enough so that you can access and learn to use those tools.

00:39:08 Merrily

Wow. Beautifully said.

00:39:10

We're.

00:39:10 Merrily

Such we can be a whole being instead of just just that.

00:39:14 Ron

Why not just the concept? Yeah, I mean, and breathing, of course it affects your health and effects, you know.

00:39:18

OK.

00:39:25 Ron

You know, I'm at an age where I can see that it has effects. I mean, you know, I'm 77 and and I can see what happens with other people when they don't breathe and how it affects their body and and, you know, they look, you know, it's not even. It's not even appearances, it's just death and disease come into play.

00:39:46 Ron

You know, so yeah.

00:39:49 Ron

Ohh.

00:39:50 Merrily

So at, you know, the wonderful age of 7730, you know, so many years of meditation practice, what is your sort of day-to-day mindful practice look like for yourself?

00:40:05 Merrily

Yeah.

00:40:07 Ron

It gets simpler.

00:40:09 Merrily

Right.

00:40:10 Ron

It really does.

00:40:12 Merrily

Great.

00:40:14 Ron

The answer to anything and everything.

00:40:18 Ron

Is brave.

00:40:22 Ron

But the reason you breathe is so that you can come from a place of curiosity.

00:40:28 Ron

And if you're breathing and coming from a place of curiosity, then you're present.

00:40:34 Ron

And if you're breathing and you're curious and you're present, then you're also living mindful.

00:40:40 Ron

OK.

00:40:42 Ron

And if you're living mindfully, then you really have access to the best of who and what you are, which is far beyond what the cranial capacity of your brain might give you. This becomes more receiver than a, you know, the source of information, but you also.

00:41:01 Ron

You also.

00:41:04 Ron

You're just playing on a different level. You're you're just aware.

00:41:09 Ron

You know, do I still meditate? Yeah, but sometimes I'm always meditating.

00:41:16 Ron

You know, I was trimming and have a lot of Japanese maples on my property and there's a low 1 outside my office and dissect them. And and I was out there trimming it one day and and I remember halfway through, you know, and I mean literally halfway through the trimming of this tree, which.

00:41:35 Ron

But I was so pleasant that I that there was no thought. I my hands were just moving and you know, and I there was just that there was actually a subconscious thought that I noticed and paid attention to and. And so you're not, you know, your mind is quiet.

00:41:56 Ron

You know it's it's scary for other.

00:41:59 Ron

People, maybe, but.

00:42:01 Ron

Even in this conversation.

00:42:04 Ron

If I'm not saying something.

00:42:07 Ron

There is no thought.

00:42:10

Hmm.

00:42:11 Ron

Those I mean, and I'm kind of emphasizing that there's just silence. There's like, oh, my God, Oh my God. Or did was that OK? Did you did you like?

00:42:16

OK.

00:42:19 Merrily

Right. Ohh, right. Yes, there's just.

00:42:24 Ron

Me exactly.

00:42:27 Ron

You know, yeah, that chatter which most people have.

00:42:27 Merrily

All that chatter, yeah.

00:42:31 Ron

Going on in their mind, day in and day out, it's often the same chatter.

00:42:34 Merrily

Yeah.

00:42:37 Ron

That communicates to their brain that they're in a very frightening, stressful situation and it's exhausting, quite literally exhausting to the to the, to the health of the body, to your immune system, to everything you have to eat more. You have to do something more. You have to, you know, I mean.

00:42:43

Yeah.

00:42:45

Right.

00:42:56 Ron

You you hear some people, I call it think, speak whatever they're thinking. They have to speak, you know, in other words, if I don't make my mind noisy, I might endanger myself and have to be present with myself.

00:43:09 Ron

And being present of themselves is the scariest thing they can possibly imagine.

00:43:14 Ron

I don't know.

00:43:16 Ron

I watch a program. It's called alone. Well, I watch it because my wife likes to watch. It's like, well, you want to spend time with.

00:43:25 Ron

Me, honey, we're going to.

00:43:27 Ron

You know, and they have 10 people out in the middle of God knows where, you know, away from everything and everybody.

00:43:32 Ron

And I almost across the board. You can watch them. You can watch them mine. You know, it's like, ohh, I'm really missing home. Really. Well, I'm really worried about my mother. You know? Really, doctor. And the year, probably. But but they.

00:43:52 Ron

Literally the mind, just all of that talk takes over and sabotages them. You know, they make like $500,000 that they win, you know, so it's it's worth.

00:44:01 Ron

We're, you know, most of the people are doing that are pretty bad shape financially. They, you know, they're they just can't.

00:44:01

And.

00:44:12 Ron

They don't have any control of their mind, so their mind is run by their ego and their ego is run by fear. And that fear comes from all of those things that we haven't dealt with. And so we're completely out of control.

00:44:28 Ron

And it's so difficult to watch because then people vote and people live their life and people do relationship and people eat and people.

00:44:38 Merrily

You're compensating with everything else.

00:44:40 Ron

Very good, excellent way to say it. Yeah, they're doing anything. But the thing they need to do, because that seems so scary.

00:44:44 Merrily

Yeah.

00:44:49 Merrily

Ohh yeah, that's funny.

00:44:51 Merrily

Ohh.

00:44:52 Merrily

That's funny. Just like the observation of that show is interesting.

00:44:52 Ron

So.

00:44:57 Ron

Yeah, you can always watch it. They might be out there 30 to 40 days and also they'll make a comment you there it is. That's the beginning of the cancer that's going to kick him out. Yeah, that that's a little.

00:45:05 Merrily

Like I got it.

00:45:13 Ron

The agenda that they haven't dealt with and that you know it's gonna subconsciously sabotage their life.

00:45:20 Merrily

MHM.

00:45:21 Ron

We all do that. We all do that. We sabotage our lives and it's like, so sad because.

00:45:28 Ron

As humans, we are so incredibly capable. We really are. And when I, you know, it's through the transformation and I guide people through, I I see the potential. It's just incredible and it's right there under that surface there really is. And if they just would be willing to.

00:45:48 Ron

Breathe and said just be wanting to breathe and explore said be willing to access.

00:45:55 Ron

Who they are and give themselves that unconditional love that they've wanted all of their life.

00:46:00 Merrily

Right.

00:46:01 Ron

Then.

00:46:07 Merrily

Yeah, definitely. It would make it such a more beautiful world and everybody can, like, chill out for.

00:46:13 Merrily

A few minutes.

00:46:15 Ron

Well, we would be kind and nice.

00:46:16 Ron

To each other.

00:46:17 Ron

Yeah, we have our own opinions and perspectives and all of that. I you know, I'm not a political guy, but I think I think having Republican.

00:46:26 Ron

And Democrats, it's a nice, you know, because sometimes they hear Republican. Oh, yeah, you get that and. Oh, yeah, I get that and.

00:46:33 Merrily

MMM.

00:46:33 Ron

But you know when they start getting too, you know, fear based? Yeah. No. Then it it doesn't work. You know, we're not listening to each other. We're so disconnected within ourselves that it gets, you know, mirrored in a relationship with others. And that level of disconnection continues.

00:46:55 Merrily

So much insight and knowledge so.

00:46:59 Merrily

I know you've written some books. Is there one in particular where folks should start that you feel is the best place?

00:47:09 Ron

Yeah, I glanced over.

00:47:13 Ron

Yeah. OK.

00:47:13 Merrily

Yeah.

00:47:15 Ron

I think the first one over scheduled by success, you know the title might throw somebody off, but they're really does talk about it and it's available on Amazon and it really I think it would be really valuable for anybody everybody because it gives them a perspective of themselves and an understanding of what they're capable of it.

00:47:35 Ron

It begins that journey of that inner of inner awareness of greater self-awareness and you know, and so yeah, I mean, I have things on my website if anybody wants some things I take them. But you know, there's nine insightful questions or 16.

00:47:54 Ron

Other questions and people, you know, people get get those and start that. That's begins that inner journey that begins and going ohh.

00:48:02 Ron

Who am I? Who do I want to be? What do I?

00:48:04 Ron

Want to do?

00:48:05

Yeah.

00:48:05 Ron

What's my highest intention, which is always a valuable thing to understand, but.

00:48:11 Ron

Unfortunately, our fear keeps us from seeing that.

00:48:13 Ron

OK.

00:48:14 Merrily

Yeah, that's true.

00:48:16 Merrily

I like the title because like over scheduling my success, it's like so many people do that all the time. I do that sometimes. I can try to fill my.

00:48:24 Ron

They've never and they never get to do they think they don't have time? Yeah, I'm busy being successful at what I got successful at. But you know, it's just like, OK.

00:48:26 Merrily

No.

00:48:35

Well.

00:48:36 Merrily

Yeah.

00:48:37 Ron

Yeah, yeah.

00:48:38 Merrily

Amazing. So do you have anything upcoming like projects or events that you would like to let the audience know about?

00:48:46 Ron

I'm not sure how to even to access it. I'm I'm doing a mastery program on LinkedIn through LinkedIn and so you know, if somebody wanted to reach.

00:48:58 Ron

Through my LinkedIn connection, I could probably get on that, but I'm doing that once a month and then you know, I mean, if you can, you know, couple 100 people are supposed to come this month and we just got started. So it'll be fun. And you know, I mean, yeah, yeah.

00:49:17 Merrily

That's.

00:49:18 Ron

I just. I just had my first post reach 1000 responses.

00:49:22 Merrily

Wow, that's yeah.

00:49:24 Ron

I know there's not a, you know, not not viral or anything like that, but it's like, ohh people are interested. They're paying attention.

00:49:30 Merrily

Yeah, it's still 1000.

00:49:32 Merrily

People, you know what I mean? Not.

00:49:36 Ron

Every, every morning. There. Evening, I'll go to my wife. Go. How many honey? She goes well, I don't know.

00:49:49 Ron

Yeah, I I just.

00:49:53 Ron

I spent my life encouraging people to love and accept themselves.

00:49:58 Ron

And I spent my life helping people get over the fear of of doing that and so.

00:50:05 Ron

Any opportunity to do that in any way that I can help somebody do that is what I like to do so.

00:50:12 Ron

Yeah, that's where I'm at.

00:50:14 Merrily

Well, it's such a wonderful life path that you have and such wonderful things that you're sharing with everybody. So I'm so, yeah, that's amazing.

00:50:23 Ron

Thanks.

00:50:23 Merrily

UM.

00:50:25 Merrily

And yeah, so. So yeah, so much luck. You already got like 200 people for your LinkedIn, so many, many more let's you know.

00:50:33 Merrily

Get that going and we'll definitely have all your links and everything in the show notes as we do and and you already you have shared so much wisdom with us already, but is there one piece of wisdom, words of wisdom that you would like to leave us with?

00:50:53 Ron

Be willing to brave. Be willing to be curious. That'll give you greater access to your heart and your mind.

00:51:02 Ron

And from that place of breathing from that place of curiosity, let yourself be present. You know, I know we've heard that.

00:51:09 Ron

From bird on or whatever, you know, but it it just means much as I'm breathing. Be with yourself. What am I feeling? Who do I? What do I want to do? Who do I need to be to do that?

00:51:24 Ron

In other words, you know, create a life design that's brings out the best in you, not as a result of your fear.

00:51:31

Hmm.

00:51:33 Merrily

Uh.

00:51:36 Merrily

Ohh wow. So thank you so much Doctor Sads for being on the show and yeah, you so much wonderful with them. Thank you for sharing your story and it's great.

00:51:47 Ron

Yeah.

00:51:48 Ron

Well, I enjoyed it. You were fun. We had a good time.

00:51:52 Merrily

Yes.

00:51:53 Ron

Yeah, good. Alright. So thank you everybody. I hope there was some insights there for you.

00:51:59 Merrily

For sure.

00:52:02 Merrily

Ron has such an incredible story and what an amazing and service filled life. Be sure to check out the show notes to learn more about Ron and all the books he's written and the ways he is helping to create.

00:52:12 Merrily

Conscious.

00:52:13 Merrily

Leaders to support the show is easy like follow and subscribe on YouTube or your favorite podcast platform. It's free and takes a few moments of your time.

00:52:21 Merrily

Thank you for listening and being an important part of the casual tempo.

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EPISODE 36 - Dr. Ron Stotts

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SYNOPSIS

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