Casual Temple

TRANSCRIPT

(Transcript is auto-generated; errors are unintentional.)

00:00:00 Merrily

Welcome to Casual Temple.

00:00:04 Merrily

Today we're joined by Dusah Wiseman, also known as Serpent Goddess, who's the author of the forthcoming book, Dear Cycle Breaker.

00:00:12 Merrily

This book offers transformational rituals and channeled wisdom to help readers reclaim their inner magic, heal through the divine feminine, and awaken the powerful, authentic self beneath layers of unconditioning and past wounds.

00:00:25 Merrily

Dusa fell in love with shamanic practices as a child, building a foundation that led her to train with indigenous elders and respected leaders in the healing arts.

00:00:34 Merrily

Her medicine blends yoga, pranayama, meditation, Qigong, herbalism, music, and trauma-informed somatic healing.

00:00:42 Merrily

So rooted in the art of inner alchemy, Dusa guides others into the depths of their shadow to unite light and dark, unlocking their true power and potential.

00:00:51 Merrily

Dusa, I'm so glad to welcome you to the Casual Temple.

00:00:54 Dusah

I'm so happy to be here.

00:00:56 Dusah

I just adore you and I'm just super grateful.

00:00:59 Dusah

Thank you for having me.

00:01:00 Merrily

Yes, thank you so much.

00:01:02 Merrily

Well, you know, kind of just get started from the beginning.

00:01:06 Merrily

So wherever you consider the beginning and what led to your book.

00:01:12 Dusah

I know that's the beginning.

00:01:17 Dusah

Yeah.

00:01:17 Dusah

I think my childhood plays a huge role in where I am today.

00:01:21 Dusah

As a kid, I would always be the one who would play outside by themselves.

00:01:25 Dusah

I'd be in a sandbox just like drawing butterflies.

00:01:28 Dusah

I lived in the ghetto.

00:01:29 Dusah

I lived in the hood.

00:01:30 Dusah

And I always felt deeply connected to the earth.

00:01:33 Dusah

And it always felt as though, like I got along with people.

00:01:37 Dusah

I could blend in, but I also felt like an alien.

00:01:40 Merrily

Right.

00:01:42 Dusah

There were times where I was actually like, I would be like rain dancing on purpose.

00:01:46 Dusah

Like I'm like, I'm rain dancing.

00:01:48 Dusah

And sure enough, it would always rain.

00:01:50 Dusah

And my mother, like she will tell you to this day, like there's absolutely no lie.

00:01:55 Dusah

She'd be like, oh wow, I can tell this about the rain.

00:01:57 Dusah

She's getting hyper again.

00:01:58 Dusah

Oh no.

00:01:59 Dusah

And then boom, here it comes.

00:02:01 Dusah

And so I still have a really deep connection to the rain.

00:02:03 Dusah

Even though I have two children, even them, like if we're all walking and it looks like it's going to rain, they say, don't say anything.

00:02:09 Dusah

Just let it, don't let it rain on us.

00:02:11 Dusah

Because sometimes

00:02:12 Dusah

So I'm like, having the rain, like getting the rain on is fun.

00:02:15 Dusah

They're like, no, just be quiet.

00:02:17 Dusah

So that was my first taste of connecting to the elements.

00:02:21 Dusah

However, that was also my first taste of duality because-- and it's so crazy because I recently just went back home to see my family, and I realized that all of my houses were right across the street from the funeral home.

00:02:35 Dusah

I thought it was just my high school home, but then I saw my elementary home, and it was literally like,

00:02:41 Dusah

two houses away was the funeral home.

00:02:43 Merrily

Wow.

00:02:43 Dusah

And as I was growing up, I did not understand it.

00:02:47 Dusah

I always felt this connection to the other realms.

00:02:51 Dusah

However, it kind of made me depressed, right?

00:02:53 Dusah

Because I'm constantly seeing people lined up.

00:02:55 Dusah

And then I'm constantly seeing, as I get older, friends that I know passed away.

00:03:01 Dusah

Right.

00:03:01 Dusah

My grandfather passed away at 55.

00:03:03 Dusah

To me, he was really young.

00:03:05 Dusah

And then when my first boyfriend, my high school sweetheart, was murdered, and I had to go across the street for his weight,

00:03:12 Dusah

That was when it was like, no, this cannot be real life.

00:03:15 Dusah

Like, I don't know what this is, but this cannot be real life.

00:03:18 Dusah

And where I grew up, there weren't any yoga studios, there weren't any...

00:03:23 Dusah

types of meditation places.

00:03:24 Dusah

Like I grew up in a Christian household with my grandmother, where it was just like fear mongering, like, do good or you go to hell.

00:03:30 Dusah

Do good or you go to hell.

00:03:32 Dusah

I used to have nightmares about that.

00:03:33 Dusah

I used to have nightmares, I was on this roller coaster and I'd be like, wee, wee, wee, and then boom, I'd be dropped down into hell because of all these like, fear tactics.

00:03:46 Dusah

So yeah, after that happened though with,

00:03:49 Dusah

my first boyfriend, I was just like, no, I have to escape here.

00:03:53 Dusah

And so I was 15 when that happened.

00:03:56 Dusah

What I did was I put myself in summer school so that I can graduate high school a year early.

00:04:01 Dusah

And then I moved to Atlanta.

00:04:03 Dusah

And my mother and my grandmother, they're like, what are you doing?

00:04:05 Dusah

You've never even been there.

00:04:07 Dusah

You're 17.

00:04:07 Dusah

I was like, I gotta go.

00:04:08 Dusah

I gotta go.

00:04:10 Dusah

Yeah.

00:04:11 Dusah

And so I feel like for me, that was a start.

00:04:14 Dusah

That was the catalyst.

00:04:15 Dusah

And you know, it's so crazy.

00:04:16 Dusah

And I just realized this recently.

00:04:18 Dusah

I really feel like my trip back home this time around was healing on so many levels because before there were spaces that I avoided.

00:04:28 Dusah

I avoided going down the street where my boyfriend was murdered.

00:04:31 Dusah

I had not even gone to visit his grave site since that happened when I was 15.

00:04:36 Dusah

You know, I'm 38.

00:04:39 Dusah

Right.

00:04:40 Dusah

And so I avoided these places, but this time when I went back home, something said, it's time to revisit.

00:04:44 Dusah

Because the first time I did go back to like the street where it happened, it might've been like,

00:04:49 Dusah

two or three years after I left.

00:04:51 Dusah

And I couldn't really remember where the street was.

00:04:53 Dusah

But as soon as I made it to the street, my body remembered.

00:04:56 Dusah

And I just started breaking down crying.

00:04:57 Dusah

And this is why I really know that there's some truth to the whole thing about our body holding memory and our body holding trauma.

00:05:03 Dusah

Because my body just like broke down.

00:05:05 Dusah

I was like, oh my God, it's right here.

00:05:07 Dusah

Did not go back there after that.

00:05:08 Dusah

But this time, this trip, it was like, it's time to go.

00:05:12 Dusah

And so I went down that street and there was reverence.

00:05:15 Dusah

Like I did get emotional, but I didn't.

00:05:17 Dusah

I got emotional for a different reason, for thinking like, wow, I have truly healed.

00:05:22 Dusah

I have truly, this was me coming to my hometown to meet with a bookstore about my book signing.

00:05:28 Dusah

Like things are entirely different than what it was when I was growing up, than what it was the last time I was here.

00:05:34 Dusah

And then I even made my way to his grave site, which was about 45 minutes away from my hometown.

00:05:40 Dusah

And I just felt like this check

00:05:43 Dusah

point, like this energetic checkpoint of you were supposed to be here.

00:05:46 Dusah

There was this rush of energy, like really, really intense.

00:05:50 Dusah

And even my little brother, he was too young when it happened, but he had a really deep connection to him as well.

00:05:56 Dusah

And so he came with me and he's like, I know you're used to this, you're used to energy, but his hand was literally vibrating for like 30 minutes, the whole ride after that.

00:06:05 Dusah

And I made a joke, I was like, listen.

00:06:08 Dusah

I have been dating the wrong guys, and I need you to be my guardian angel and to step in, intervene, right?

00:06:15 Dusah

Yeah.

00:06:15 Dusah

And so as we were driving out of the cemetery, I kid you not, my ex-boyfriend, who I literally just broke up with a year and a half ago, and it was the biggest ...

00:06:26 Dusah

I had to break that cycle just to even break this book, along with many others, and I was toying back and forth with

00:06:34 Dusah

was that the right decision?

00:06:35 Dusah

Because that was the deepest love I had ever felt, the strongest love I had ever felt, but it was also very traumatic.

00:06:40 Dusah

So I'm still touring with the idea of like, dang, wow, this is really over.

00:06:44 Dusah

As we're leaving, I see this huge, huge, huge tombstone, like huge.

00:06:50 Dusah

There's no decoration, no writing.

00:06:52 Dusah

The only thing that's on it, like no dates,

00:06:54 Dusah

The only thing that was on there, it was my ex's name in big, bold letters.

00:06:58 Dusah

No last name, just his first name, like boom.

00:07:00 Dusah

And I took it as a sign of like, I need to bury that.

00:07:02 Dusah

I need to leave that alone.

00:07:03 Dusah

But it was just been a healing process.

00:07:06 Dusah

And I realized too that he used to call me, my first boyfriend, he used to call me Iya all the time.

00:07:11 Dusah

And I never knew what that meant.

00:07:13 Dusah

But I've gone through different initiations in the Yoruba tradition.

00:07:16 Dusah

And it wasn't until right before that trip where I was like, oh my gosh.

00:07:20 Dusah

Ea means mother.

00:07:22 Dusah

They also refer to Ea as the witches.

00:07:24 Dusah

They also refer to it as like the cosmic being.

00:07:26 Dusah

He was calling me this my entire, like, you know, teenage years.

00:07:31 Dusah

And I didn't even know, I don't even know if he knew.

00:07:33 Dusah

Like, you know, so it's just like, yeah.

00:07:35 Dusah

So I feel like,

00:07:37 Dusah

that trauma was a big catalyst into how I landed where I am today.

00:07:41 Dusah

And that's exactly what I did.

00:07:42 Dusah

I turned all these different cycles, because, you know, I left hometown, but you can't just run away.

00:07:47 Dusah

That's not how you heal.

00:07:49 Dusah

Like, it's gonna follow you.

00:07:50 Dusah

I didn't know that.

00:07:50 Dusah

I thought I could, but it followed me.

00:07:53 Dusah

And that's what, you know, the inspiration behind the book is to like, okay, what are all these cycles I had to break to make it to where I am today?

00:08:02 Dusah

And let's turn that into universal medicine.

00:08:05 Merrily

Yeah.

00:08:05 Merrily

Oh, my gosh, so many.

00:08:07 Merrily

interesting things like even sort of your own sort of embodied knowing of doing rain dances or all these, rituals, you're like just doing it as a child, right?

00:08:19 Merrily

That's so amazing.

00:08:21 Merrily

And yeah, and then just growing up, growing up and try, like probably being a little, like you said, a little bit of a square peg and a round hole kind of situation.

00:08:34 Merrily

And then, and then this, I'm so sorry to hear about your first boyfriend.

00:08:39 Merrily

That's so, like, I can't even imagine that at such a young age, but I can, see that, but out of that came all these like synchronicities and even like your, the name he was calling you and how amazing.

00:08:53 Merrily

And I think those things are cool because you don't maybe like at the time, right, when he's calling you these things, you're like, well, cute name and blah, blah.

00:09:01 Merrily

But then just years later and it comes, time is not linear, right?

00:09:04 Merrily

It's all like makes sense.

00:09:09 Merrily

Gosh, so I'm very curious, like, how did you discover, like,

00:09:15 Merrily

all these different modalities, like where, where did you learn how to do them?

00:09:19 Merrily

Did it start when you were really young or like the yoga, the pranayama?

00:09:22 Merrily

Like, where did, where did that all step in?

00:09:26 Dusah

That came in.

00:09:27 Dusah

So I was first introduced to hot yoga back in like 2006.

00:09:33 Dusah

But I knew my very first time I did hot yoga, I was like, no, there's something else to this.

00:09:38 Dusah

Like, this doesn't feel like the full thing.

00:09:42 Dusah

And I don't know, there's always been this inner

00:09:45 Dusah

sort of seeker inside of me, that when I learn something, I want to trace it back to its source, because I want the most untainted version of it.

00:09:52 Dusah

So if it's a practice, a spiritual practice, whatever it is, I'm like, OK, let me trace it back.

00:09:55 Dusah

I want to trace it back to the undiluted source.

00:09:58 Dusah

And somehow, intuitively, I just knew that there was something deeper.

00:10:02 Dusah

But it wasn't until I had my daughter that I went through postpartum depression.

00:10:08 Dusah

And oof, this is a full circle moment that I was, lately, I've been finding myself just

00:10:12 Dusah

crying tears of gratitude because of these signs that are always there, that are always playing out.

00:10:18 Dusah

So I used to work at this law firm and I was going through, yet again, another horrible relationship.

00:10:25 Dusah

That's, can you tell that's one of the biggest cycles I had to break?

00:10:28 Dusah

And I think, cause it's like my heart turned cold after that first trauma happened.

00:10:33 Dusah

Yeah.

00:10:33 Dusah

But then I start opening it up, but I'm just like dating, like subconsciously dating the wrong type.

00:10:38 Dusah

So maybe I was afraid to feel that feeling.

00:10:41 Dusah

So maybe I was going for people who I didn't necessarily, we won't, we won't go down that route.

00:10:46 Merrily

Yeah, I got you.

00:10:47 Merrily

Yeah.

00:10:49 Dusah

So in this relationship and literally ****** *** at myself because I'm like, I didn't even like him in the 1st place.

00:10:56 Dusah

And how am I so stressed out?

00:10:58 Merrily

Oh my God, that's so funny.

00:10:59 Dusah

How am I so upset?

00:11:01 Dusah

And there was just so much trauma, even with him, with his mother.

00:11:05 Dusah

There was just so much.

00:11:05 Dusah

I remember I was driving to work by then.

00:11:09 Dusah

I had already been working at this law firm for about six years, maybe.

00:11:13 Dusah

So autopilot, right?

00:11:14 Dusah

When you're used to going a certain route, you're driving, and sometimes you arrive at the location, and you're like, I don't even remember driving, but I'm here.

00:11:22 Dusah

There is one moment where I was driving to work, and I could not pull over into the parking lot.

00:11:28 Dusah

I kept going.

00:11:29 Dusah

And then I had an out-of-body moment, and I said, body, turn.

00:11:33 Dusah

What are you doing?

00:11:33 Dusah

Turn, turn, turn, turn.

00:11:35 Dusah

And when I did not follow my own cues inside my mind,

00:11:38 Dusah

I was like, oh my gosh, I'm broken.

00:11:40 Dusah

Oh my gosh.

00:11:41 Dusah

And I just kept driving.

00:11:42 Dusah

I would not pull over.

00:11:43 Dusah

So finally, I pulled over inside of some random street, and I just started crying.

00:11:48 Dusah

And I couldn't even fix myself to confront anybody.

00:11:51 Dusah

I disappeared for the whole day.

00:11:52 Dusah

Actually, I don't even remember.

00:11:54 Dusah

Maybe I just sat in the car crying for the whole time, because I spent hours away.

00:11:58 Dusah

I didn't clock in.

00:11:59 Dusah

I didn't call in.

00:12:00 Dusah

I was embarrassed.

00:12:02 Dusah

And it's so crazy, because I recently watched this documentary recently that I highly recommend that's called Witch.

00:12:07 Dusah

But they correlate the moments where women have these sort of dark night of the soul moments postpartum and how people expect women to just pick up and keep going as if it's like, you're a woman, you're a maid for this.

00:12:21 Dusah

But these are also the times

00:12:24 Dusah

And this is very, medicinal for, you don't have to be a woman or you don't have to have had a child to experience this, but it's in those dark night of the soul moments where you can connect to your lineage and connect to your power and connect to your wisdom, connect to your magic.

00:12:39 Dusah

But boy, is it scary there sometimes, you know?

00:12:42 Dusah

And some people do lose themselves to that space.

00:12:44 Dusah

But here I am having this sort of just,

00:12:47 Dusah

I knew like I was, I literally felt like I was losing my mind and that maybe I needed to be admitted.

00:12:54 Dusah

I just, I didn't know what to do.

00:12:55 Dusah

I had no idea what to do.

00:12:57 Dusah

And so instead of that, honestly, I don't know what it was, but something just told me meditation was the key.

00:13:04 Dusah

I have no idea.

00:13:05 Dusah

Like I said, where I grew up, there was none of that anywhere.

00:13:08 Dusah

So maybe there's some something to like this past lives or things like that, because somehow I knew meditation was the key.

00:13:14 Dusah

And so I went to try and go find

00:13:17 Dusah

authentic meditation studios or places to learn.

00:13:20 Dusah

And I remember I arrived at this like cult like place and I arrived, mind you, I'm super depressed.

00:13:26 Merrily

Right.

00:13:26 Dusah

And I arrived there.

00:13:28 Dusah

Well, I don't mean that cosmos.

00:13:30 Dusah

I meant I'm telling a story.

00:13:31 Dusah

I'm not the pastor.

00:13:33 Dusah

I was at that time, right?

00:13:35 Merrily

Yeah.

00:13:35 Dusah

And so I arrived there and the person enters the door and they're like, hi, we're so happy you're here.

00:13:41 Dusah

And I was just like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:13:43 Merrily

You were right.

00:13:44 Dusah

That's A lot.

00:13:45 Dusah

And then I come in and I'm looking at the people who were there receiving the medicine, or receiving the meditation, and they look like zombies.

00:13:54 Dusah

They're just like,

00:13:56 Dusah

Hi, how are you?

00:13:56 Dusah

And I'm like, this is not working for you guys.

00:13:58 Dusah

I don't know what this is.

00:13:59 Dusah

But mind you, I don't know.

00:14:01 Dusah

I don't have a reference point for meditation.

00:14:04 Dusah

But I'm like, this don't feel right.

00:14:05 Dusah

I've always had a strong connection to my gut, though.

00:14:08 Dusah

I've always been connected.

00:14:10 Dusah

So I leapt out of there.

00:14:12 Dusah

Did I go back?

00:14:13 Dusah

They were trying to teach me too, like, OK, meditation, pretend like there's a vacuum cleaner in space.

00:14:19 Dusah

And as soon as you have a thought, we're going to suck it up.

00:14:21 Dusah

And I was just like, I can't.

00:14:22 Dusah

I cannot do this.

00:14:23 Dusah

This is not it.

00:14:25 Dusah

And so

00:14:26 Dusah

that same relationship, ironically, he was trying to show me some video that I was so not interested in.

00:14:32 Dusah

It was like a very, just, just something that just did not make your energy feel good.

00:14:38 Dusah

And as he walked away, after the video ended, I saw this guru's face at the top of the screen.

00:14:44 Dusah

And I was like, huh, there's something about his eyes that I just can't look away from.

00:14:48 Dusah

And I started clicking on his videos and every video, video after video after video was just truth.

00:14:55 Dusah

It was just a resonance that made logical sense.

00:14:59 Dusah

There was no religion, there was no hoobla, and so I ended up reading a book called Midnight with the Mystics, and this book was

00:15:08 Dusah

tailing this woman who was meeting with the guru nightly at midnight and recounting stories.

00:15:13 Dusah

And she recounted like everything she had been through.

00:15:15 Dusah

And I saw so much similarity between she and I from going through these horrible relationships to then being a single mother to her psychedelic journeys to then finding this guru.

00:15:25 Dusah

And I just felt so much of me in her that I was like, I must go through this process too.

00:15:30 Dusah

It helped her.

00:15:30 Dusah

It must help me.

00:15:32 Dusah

I looked it up.

00:15:33 Dusah

He was coming to Atlanta.

00:15:34 Dusah

I was living in Atlanta at this time.

00:15:36 Dusah

He was coming to Atlanta literally like the next month or so.

00:15:38 Dusah

And I was like, oh, this has to happen.

00:15:40 Dusah

This must be.

00:15:41 Dusah

And so I go there.

00:15:42 Dusah

And the entire time, I used to always communicate with the cosmos, with everything around me.

00:15:50 Dusah

So I would say, if he's the real deal, I want him to make eye contact with me.

00:15:55 Dusah

And there's hundreds of people there.

00:15:56 Dusah

I'm naming things that feel are outlandish.

00:15:59 Dusah

just to see that divine nudge, like, yeah, we're talking to you.

00:16:03 Dusah

And so there was a time when we closed our eyes and we're doing this meditation, and he had us open our eyes.

00:16:08 Dusah

When we closed our eyes, he was sitting on the stage far away.

00:16:11 Dusah

When we opened our eyes, he was standing directly in front of me, staring at me in my eye, and was using me as an example of what he was discussing.

00:16:19 Dusah

I was like, okay, let's begin with eye contact.

00:16:21 Dusah

Yep.

00:16:22 Dusah

And so that wasn't enough for me.

00:16:23 Dusah

I needed to sign a year sign.

00:16:24 Dusah

Right.

00:16:25 Dusah

So I was like.

00:16:26 Dusah

Yep.

00:16:28 Dusah

We went outside to play soccer.

00:16:29 Dusah

I said, if he's the real deal, let him kick the ball to me.

00:16:31 Dusah

Boom.

00:16:31 Dusah

Before I even finished like ball to me, he kicks the ball to me.

00:16:34 Dusah

And I'm like, he's in my head.

00:16:36 Dusah

And I just kept doing this.

00:16:38 Dusah

Like at this point, I just kept, I'm really looking forward to one day like having a conversation with him and being like,

00:16:45 Dusah

Do you remember this time or did you like just to pick his brain because I was doing it the entire time.

00:16:51 Dusah

And then it comes part for the initiation at the very end.

00:16:54 Dusah

And

00:16:55 Dusah

This is where I became super skeptic, because I've been in churches where they have prophets come, and I've witnessed a lot of false prophets who will say things like, you're going to be instantaneously healed, and we're going to da, da, da, and nothing happens.

00:17:08 Dusah

And so I was very skeptical when he said, all right, we're going to do this initiation process, and I don't want you to be alarmed, because some people might scream, some people might cry, you might hear animal noises, and I'm like, oh yeah, okay, here it is, here's the charade, okay.

00:17:23 Dusah

And he starts doing the initiation, and all of a sudden, my body starts vibrating like intensely, but it felt very blissful.

00:17:32 Dusah

And tears are coming down my face, and it felt like this energy, this just heavy, dense energy was being removed while this blissful energy was being imparted onto me.

00:17:44 Dusah

And I was like, wow, I don't know what that was, but that's exactly what I've been looking for.

00:17:48 Dusah

And so that was my taste of like real spirituality.

00:17:51 Dusah

And using that, became like the blueprint, the sort of energetic compass for the different practices that I attracted after that.

00:18:00 Dusah

It was like, okay, can I feel something from this?

00:18:03 Dusah

Not just, oh, it's good for you, it's healthy for you.

00:18:05 Dusah

Can I feel something, you know?

00:18:06 Dusah

And if I can feel something, then I dive in deeper and, you know,

00:18:11 Dusah

Before the days of me showing up online, I was really loving how you would just be at the right place at the right time, you'd meet someone.

00:18:18 Dusah

And later on, I got into qigong because I met this elder man in the neighborhoods of Atlanta, and he was just showing me qigong, teaching me weaponry, teaching me about knives, teaching me about the mystical.

00:18:28 Dusah

So it was just like me following those golden threads.

00:18:31 Dusah

One thing led to another.

00:18:34 Merrily

My gosh.

00:18:34 Merrily

it sounds like it.

00:18:35 Merrily

It's definitely you're like, got the teacher, got the lesson, got the teacher, all of this.

00:18:40 Dusah

Continuously.

00:18:41 Merrily

Continuously.

00:18:42 Dusah

Teacher, teacher, teacher.

00:18:43 Dusah

And I'm always trying to find the most potent form.

00:18:45 Dusah

Okay, you're gonna learn Qigong?

00:18:46 Dusah

I've been training with the Shaolin Temple.

00:18:48 Dusah

I'm not like, I'm not shortcutting.

00:18:50 Dusah

I'm not going to like this one.

00:18:51 Dusah

No, take me straight to the source, you know?

00:18:53 Dusah

Wow.

00:18:53 Merrily

Oh, that's so amazing.

00:18:54 Merrily

And I love it because I was like, so we were talking about yoga because I had the same situation where it was like, you know, my friend,

00:19:03 Merrily

friends were like, let's go to yoga.

00:19:04 Merrily

And I'm like, there's just, this doesn't feel right.

00:19:06 Merrily

It's like, is it, it's, this is just stretching, right?

00:19:09 Merrily

You know, and a little bit of like meditation at the end, right?

00:19:12 Merrily

Usually.

00:19:12 Merrily

I was like, I just, it bugged me until I found Kundalini yoga is my sort of yoga practice.

00:19:19 Merrily

And then that's more integrated, at least for me, the way my teachers have taught it.

00:19:25 Merrily

Cause it's, you know, it's all about, you know, meditation and chanting and also the yoga, but it's all about like getting you like centered and all of that stuff.

00:19:33 Merrily

I was like,

00:19:33 Merrily

Yes, this is what I was thinking.

00:19:34 Dusah

Exactly.

00:19:35 Dusah

I received my teacher certification in kundalini yoga as well.

00:19:38 Dusah

And I felt there.

00:19:39 Dusah

Yeah, I felt something.

00:19:40 Dusah

So we're both on the same path.

00:19:41 Dusah

We felt it.

00:19:42 Dusah

We felt something with there, you know?

00:19:44 Merrily

Yes.

00:19:44 Merrily

Oh my gosh, wow.

00:19:46 Merrily

Yeah, you have so many really cool modalities.

00:19:50 Merrily

And I love that you're in Atlanta because my husband actually, he grew up in Atlanta in Peachtree.

00:19:54 Merrily

So that's just so funny.

00:19:55 Dusah

Oh wow.

00:19:56 Dusah

It's funny because when I first moved to Atlanta, actually I live in Mexico now.

00:20:00 Dusah

Oh yeah, Just recently back in March I moved here.

00:20:04 Dusah

But

00:20:05 Dusah

It's been 20 years of my life, more than I lived in my hometown.

00:20:07 Dusah

I lived in Atlanta.

00:20:08 Dusah

But when I first moved there, it was Peachtree, everything.

00:20:10 Dusah

I was so lost.

00:20:11 Dusah

Peachtree Street, Peachtree Road, Peachtree Dunwoody, Peachtree.

00:20:14 Dusah

I was like, oh my goodness.

00:20:15 Dusah

Can you guys not think of a different name?

00:20:17 Merrily

Yeah, exactly.

00:20:18 Merrily

They love their peaches there in Atlanta, for sure.

00:20:20 Merrily

Oh my gosh.

00:20:23 Merrily

And so you also mentioned like you are practicing the Yoruba tradition.

00:20:30 Merrily

How did that come about?

00:20:32 Dusah

So with that, I feel like it was sort of this, me wanting to connect deeper to my paternal side of my family, because my father is from Nigeria, but we lost contact when I was two.

00:20:43 Dusah

My mother remarried and...

00:20:46 Dusah

they like this is before the times of social media and cell phones and things.

00:20:50 Dusah

So someone threw away letters to his address, and they lost communication.

00:20:55 Dusah

And I've just always wanted to connect deeper to that side of my family.

00:20:58 Merrily

Yeah.

00:20:59 Dusah

And so then I started to discover Ifa.

00:21:03 Dusah

And I

00:21:05 Dusah

I went through some very powerful initiations, going through becoming an Ngungun Priestess, receiving my Hand of Ifa, but the problem that I encountered was that, and this unfortunately goes on in a lot of different areas of the spiritual space.

00:21:21 Dusah

It has become an industry and I think that's a big problem because with an industry comes people who

00:21:27 Dusah

are scammers.

00:21:28 Dusah

It comes people who maybe they don't have integrity.

00:21:30 Dusah

They see that there's money involved, there's money to be made, so you don't always get the purest thing.

00:21:34 Dusah

I'm grateful that I did receive really pure, the processes were undeniable.

00:21:41 Dusah

Whether or not these people had true, I don't know, you can feel it, back to how we felt.

00:21:48 Dusah

What I did not like was this sort of vow that you had to like, I don't do well with anything that says this is the way and the only way.

00:21:57 Dusah

I'm not a religious person.

00:21:58 Dusah

I like to grab what works for me.

00:22:00 Dusah

And so the different babas that I had encountered were telling me like, oh, you got to denounce your meditation.

00:22:05 Dusah

I was like, absolutely not.

00:22:07 Dusah

This is like, the Catholics were like drowning me, absolutely not.

00:22:11 Dusah

And then I didn't like how they were saying like, oh, the woman has to like just submit to the man, the man can have multiple wives.

00:22:17 Dusah

And I was like, absolutely not.

00:22:19 Dusah

So I do still have a very deep connection with the Arishas, but I just try to,

00:22:26 Dusah

I got to remove the middleman, And I say that in the most respectful way, is that I still have this deep connection to the orishas, but I will not submit to something telling me to be less than who I am.

00:22:39 Dusah

And so I just have borrowed different pieces.

00:22:42 Dusah

I still, I don't offer that as a service or anything, but it has strengthened my connection to my ancestors to become an Ngungun priestess.

00:22:49 Dusah

And it has made sense of me having a connection to the other realms and living across the street from the funeral home.

00:22:56 Dusah

So you know what's ironic is that in a kundalini yoga training, the teacher there, he said to me, because I was, you know, we're going through the different healings and uprooting things and

00:23:08 Dusah

I was like, okay, I'm having so much healing, but I really cannot fathom.

00:23:13 Dusah

What was the point in me growing up right across the street from a funeral home?

00:23:17 Dusah

Why did I always have to see death?

00:23:18 Dusah

Why did I have to experience this?

00:23:20 Dusah

I don't understand, because there are some people who live their life, and maybe they don't experience a death until their grandmother dies, or their grandfather dies.

00:23:26 Dusah

But it's few and far in between, but I had constant, constant, constant, constant someone, young, old, constantly.

00:23:34 Dusah

And he said, well, you had to be there.

00:23:37 Dusah

You were like anchoring in and allowing them to be, carefully, what's the word that he used?

00:23:45 Dusah

Basically like you were their guardian, allowing them to safely transition to the other side.

00:23:49 Dusah

You were the anchor, you were the guardian of that threshold.

00:23:52 Dusah

And I was like, I never said about it like that.

00:23:58 Dusah

I'm sitting here feeling all like, why?

00:24:00 Dusah

Well, why me?

00:24:01 Dusah

And it's like, wow, you know, well, sorry.

00:24:03 Dusah

No, it's okay.

00:24:05 Dusah

That's spirit, I guess.

00:24:06 Merrily

Yes, like that is true.

00:24:09 Dusah

That's confirmation.

00:24:10 Dusah

Wow.

00:24:10 Dusah

So yeah.

00:24:14 Merrily

Oh my gosh.

00:24:15 Merrily

Wow, that's amazing.

00:24:17 Merrily

Again, it's sort of like that like full circle sort of thing where as a child, you don't,

00:24:22 Merrily

You understand probably, subconsciously you understood why you were there, but consciously you're like, why is this happening?

00:24:29 Dusah

Exactly.

00:24:32 Merrily

But then I'm sure that when your teacher told you that, it like...

00:24:36 Merrily

it made you cry, but it made you like, okay, I guess this makes sense.

00:24:40 Dusah

Yeah, it made me like reclaim some power from that.

00:24:42 Dusah

And using full circle moment just reminded me too of the other thing that I wanted to touch on earlier was that, so when I, that situation happened when I was driving to my old job at the law firm, on my lunch breaks, I used to go

00:24:56 Dusah

right next door, literally walking distance, to this metaphysical store called Phoenix and Dragon.

00:25:01 Dusah

I would go in there and imagine what it would be like if magic was my life, if that was my work.

00:25:07 Dusah

I felt like that's where I belonged.

00:25:08 Dusah

I would go there all the time on my lunch break.

00:25:10 Dusah

Even when I quit working there and I was a bartender, I would still go there.

00:25:15 Dusah

I would still go there and be like, oh, what if this is my life?

00:25:18 Dusah

Full circle moment, I'm having a book signing at that location.

00:25:26 Merrily

That's so cool.

00:25:27 Merrily

Oh my gosh, I got goosebumps.

00:25:29 Merrily

That's really cool.

00:25:29 Dusah

Oh my gosh.

00:25:31 Merrily

Thank you.

00:25:32 Merrily

Well, we did touch on sort of what, you know, inspired you to write your book, Dear Cycle Breaker.

00:25:40 Merrily

What is like, what is breaking cycles mean to you personally and how, you know, why did you want to write this book for people?

00:25:49 Dusah

Yeah, this book really wanted to write itself, honestly.

00:25:58 Dusah

I get kind of emotional because even how this came to be, it's the prime example of when one door closes, another one opens.

00:26:04 Dusah

Because I didn't think it was time for me to write a book yet.

00:26:06 Dusah

And this one woman came to me, she said that she was starting a new sort of publication company and she wants to pour into BIPOC authors.

00:26:16 Dusah

and basically told me I was a shoe-in and that you got this.

00:26:19 Dusah

And I was going through so much to turn in my manuscript to, here I am, I had so many other projects going on, but she told me I was a shoe-in.

00:26:27 Dusah

I'm like, Okay, let's do this.

00:26:28 Dusah

Long story short, she does not accept me.

00:26:30 Dusah

And with that setup too, I was gonna be in charge of paying for my illustrator, paying for things out of pocket, right?

00:26:39 Dusah

But I thought, Well, I'm looking at the bigger picture, I'd be an author.

00:26:42 Dusah

That one left, and that particular person

00:26:46 Dusah

I won't touch on it too much, but their energy started to show that, oh, I'm so glad I did not do that with them, because their energy was not what it needed to be.

00:26:55 Dusah

So I let that go, and I just didn't even think about it.

00:26:58 Dusah

Because as a kid, my grandmother did have this typewriter.

00:27:00 Dusah

It didn't work, but I used to always pretend like I was typing and writing and an author.

00:27:04 Dusah

So another full circle moment.

00:27:06 Merrily

Yeah.

00:27:07 Dusah

And so then I'm just showing up online, showing up, showing up, showing up, and then this woman

00:27:14 Dusah

messages me and says, I think you should write a book.

00:27:16 Dusah

And I was like, maybe.

00:27:18 Dusah

Because I feel like I needed more to learn.

00:27:21 Dusah

I feel like I would write a book when I'm in my 50s and I'm seasoned all really well, but I've been having a crazy life so far.

00:27:28 Dusah

So there was something to talk about, but that imposter was trying to tell me.

00:27:32 Dusah

And so she told me she was with Hay House.

00:27:35 Dusah

And I was like, this feels like a scam.

00:27:38 Dusah

There's no way that Hay House is--

00:27:43 Dusah

I'm like, how did she find me?

00:27:44 Dusah

What is she talking about?

00:27:45 Dusah

And so we scheduled a meeting and I still was like, because at the same time, I was receiving messages from people who claim to be with companies are like, we want to sponsor you and it was fake.

00:27:56 Dusah

So then I saw her e-mail and it said, Hey House, but I still was like, I don't know about this.

00:28:00 Dusah

And then we did the Zoom call and it says, Hey House on.

00:28:03 Dusah

And I was like, wow, this is really real.

00:28:05 Dusah

And so she was a total, is a total

00:28:10 Dusah

Angel, she walked me through the entire process.

00:28:12 Dusah

She was like, you just got to be you.

00:28:14 Dusah

You just got the way that you write, the way you write your captions, show up as that.

00:28:19 Dusah

Can you send me some stuff that you've already written?

00:28:21 Dusah

And I sent her some stuff, and we were trying to come up with chapter titles and brainstorm what the book would be about and things like that.

00:28:28 Dusah

And she had sort of fed these different titles and fed the sort of synopsis of what the book would be about based upon my previous writings.

00:28:35 Dusah

And when she fed it to me, I was like, this is brilliant.

00:28:37 Dusah

She was like, Dusa, these are your words.

00:28:39 Dusah

I was like, oh my gosh.

00:28:41 Dusah

She's like, I just took what you wrote and put it, I was like, wow, it's so crazy.

00:28:45 Dusah

how we can be so hard on our own work, but then someone chops it up and feeds it back to us.

00:28:49 Dusah

Literally, didn't change anything.

00:28:51 Dusah

Just took words from different pieces and put them together.

00:28:53 Dusah

And I'm like, this is brilliant.

00:28:54 Dusah

And she's like, that's you.

00:28:55 Dusah

I'm like, oh, wow, OK, let's do this.

00:28:58 Dusah

And so it sort of started to unfold more and more by itself, because originally, the book was going to be called Wild, Wise, and Whole, because I wanted to shed light on the full gamut of what it means to be

00:29:11 Dusah

identify as female, like there's people expect you to be this calm, this tame version where there's many facets to the goddess.

00:29:18 Dusah

So I thought, well, we need to speak on embracing all these different aspects of our being.

00:29:23 Dusah

And I had a chapter, it was originally just a chapter called Dear Cycle Breaker.

00:29:27 Dusah

And

00:29:29 Dusah

This is like, I'm a double tourist too, so this is where it started to get really testy, 'cause they're like, We think you should change the title, 'cause I had already changed the subtitle, and they came like, We think you should change the title, and I'm like, The title's fine, right?

00:29:44 Dusah

I have a lot of Aries.

00:29:45 Dusah

I have a lot of Aries.

00:29:45 Dusah

I have equal Aries and equal Taurus in my chart.

00:29:48 Dusah

So typically I go well with changes.

00:29:49 Dusah

I love changes.

00:29:50 Dusah

But when it came to this, I was like, why?

00:29:54 Dusah

And I was like, okay, there's cycle breaker.

00:29:56 Dusah

And then I was like, well, now it doesn't really make sense to call it a cycle breaker when I just have, you know, so I was like, let me take what I did have though.

00:30:04 Dusah

and now tailor each one to a specific cycle.

00:30:06 Dusah

It's what I was already organically doing, but I didn't pull it all the way up out of it.

00:30:10 Dusah

Like it was hidden beneath the surface.

00:30:12 Dusah

But now I made sure I named what that cycle was.

00:30:15 Dusah

And so

00:30:17 Dusah

I knew that if I told my life story, they would have the rights to it.

00:30:22 Dusah

could have become a movie.

00:30:23 Dusah

And I was like, no, I don't want that.

00:30:24 Dusah

So what I did was I told my story through the medicine.

00:30:28 Dusah

So there was a time when I was going through scarcity.

00:30:30 Dusah

I wrote about what I needed to hear, but I didn't tell exactly what I was going through.

00:30:34 Dusah

But you are feeling what I was feeling by the medicine that I'm offering for that chapter.

00:30:39 Dusah

And so I remember at that same time,

00:30:43 Dusah

When she came to me with the book deal, and here it is now, they're giving me an advance.

00:30:47 Dusah

I go from this other deal with the door closed, and I'm like, man, that's horrible, to now a better setup with the same people who published Dr.

00:30:57 Dusah

Joe Dispenza.

00:30:57 Dusah

I was like, what the heck?

00:30:58 Dusah

I'm no Dr.

00:30:59 Dusah

Joe Dispenza.

00:30:59 Dusah

Right.

00:31:00 Dusah

It's like, but you're right.

00:31:01 Dusah

You're Dusa.

00:31:02 Dusah

You're not him.

00:31:03 Dusah

It's like, OK,

00:31:05 Dusah

That goes on another level of imposter trying to creep in.

00:31:08 Merrily

Yeah.

00:31:09 Dusah

But she really was an angel and was really like rooting for me and saw the potential in me and was pitching for me, giving me creative freedom to like, she's like, even with your manuscript, make it creative.

00:31:19 Dusah

You don't have to do it like a little boring black and white manuscript.

00:31:22 Dusah

So I was adding my pictures and things, because I'm a visual person.

00:31:24 Dusah

That Taurus energy and my Libra moon, I like to capture people through visuals, right?

00:31:29 Merrily

Yeah.

00:31:29 Dusah

So I just went all in.

00:31:30 Dusah

And I remember at the same time,

00:31:34 Dusah

of me now moving to the next phase of having to write a sample chapters and things like that, I started having the most intense pain of my life.

00:31:42 Dusah

Like it felt like someone had a blowtorch and they were like burning me on my back.

00:31:47 Dusah

And I won't go into all the detail because then we'd be here all night.

00:31:52 Dusah

But I go to the hospital.

00:31:55 Dusah

I went to the hospital like two nights before.

00:31:58 Dusah

And they pretty much, I had an IUD at the moment.

00:32:02 Dusah

And this is another reason.

00:32:03 Dusah

This is, see, this is how I, in the past, I've gotten into relationships and I would do things to make the other party happy.

00:32:09 Dusah

But I've never been a birth control person, always been very natural.

00:32:12 Dusah

But my partner wanted it and I was like, okay, well, I'll go with the copper one.

00:32:16 Dusah

That's most natural.

00:32:17 Dusah

So I did that.

00:32:18 Dusah

My body was rejecting it.

00:32:19 Dusah

And so they removed it thinking that would solve the problem.

00:32:23 Dusah

But literally, like 2 days later, maybe even a day later,

00:32:26 Dusah

I'm in the most excruciating pain ever, and I have to go back to the hospital, a different one this time.

00:32:31 Dusah

And they could not find out what's wrong.

00:32:33 Dusah

They're trying to figure out what's wrong.

00:32:34 Dusah

They almost sent me home because the doctor was trying to do the clamp thing on me again, and I had already had it just a couple of days before, and I was like, no, we don't need to do this again.

00:32:42 Dusah

I was like, can't you just pull up my records?

00:32:44 Dusah

And there was a man who was trying to do it, and he got upset at me because I didn't want him to.

00:32:48 Dusah

And I was like, you just got to be upset.

00:32:50 Dusah

Like, no.

00:32:51 Dusah

Yeah, exactly.

00:32:51 Dusah

He walked out of here frustrated.

00:32:53 Dusah

I'm like, why was he so angry that I wouldn't let him like, you know?

00:32:56 Dusah

And then I don't know what happened.

00:32:58 Dusah

Must've been some just angelic stuff happening.

00:33:01 Dusah

But I got assigned another female doctor.

00:33:03 Dusah

But then also that doctor that was acting all angry came in, acting all super nice and gentle and sweet.

00:33:09 Dusah

I'm like, where did this change of attitude come from?

00:33:11 Dusah

That's crazy.

00:33:12 Dusah

But they started running tests, tests, tests, tests.

00:33:15 Dusah

long story short, they could not find what it was.

00:33:17 Dusah

So they admitted me and I was there for about a week and they were still wearing tests, still trying to figure out, still trying to like lower the, like to give me antibiotics and different things to lower.

00:33:26 Dusah

What do they call it when it's just the, when you have an infection?

00:33:31 Dusah

Yeah.

00:33:31 Dusah

Trying to, I'm so disconnected from that.

00:33:34 Dusah

I'm like, I don't even know what that infection.

00:33:35 Dusah

They were trying to lower the infection or whatever.

00:33:38 Dusah

And so then one time she went to do some type of test and she came to me and she said,

00:33:43 Dusah

it looks like we might have to do surgery.

00:33:45 Dusah

And I was like, oh no, what?

00:33:47 Dusah

She's like, yeah, it looks like we're going to have to do surgery.

00:33:49 Dusah

So the first thing I did, so this is where I can truly have appreciation for my upbringing because my grandmother, she was my first sort of lesson on the art of devotion.

00:33:59 Dusah

She's a very, very, very, very devoted woman.

00:34:01 Dusah

Right now, her church members, she only has about 5 members at the church that she goes to.

00:34:05 Dusah

It used to be really like jumping when I was going there in my childhood when she's make me go Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

00:34:13 Dusah

It used to be John Bank, but now there's like 5 members and she still goes.

00:34:16 Dusah

She's still devoted.

00:34:17 Dusah

She's still showing up.

00:34:17 Dusah

She's the usher.

00:34:18 Dusah

And I'm like, come on, why are you the usher?

00:34:19 Dusah

Like, no one comes in here.

00:34:20 Dusah

She's like, well, but she's still, and I, when she prays, oh, I know she's talking to the heavens, the earths, the ants, the in between.

00:34:29 Dusah

So I go to call her and I think that plays out too.

00:34:32 Dusah

And when I offer sessions and do ceremonies,

00:34:35 Dusah

I tune into that.

00:34:36 Dusah

I go deeply like she does.

00:34:39 Dusah

And I try to call her to warn her.

00:34:41 Dusah

And I'm like, I need her prayers, like pray over me.

00:34:44 Dusah

Literally, that doctor comes back 10 minutes later and says, it's time.

00:34:47 Dusah

And I didn't get a hold of my grandmother.

00:34:48 Dusah

And I was like, oh, and so I had to like self-source.

00:34:51 Dusah

I had to like, you know, tell myself I'm gonna be fine.

00:34:54 Dusah

And it turned out what happened was like I had an abscess back there that had ruptured.

00:34:59 Dusah

And within, you can have, you can die because it's

00:35:04 Dusah

Yeah, sepsis, yeah.

00:35:06 Dusah

The organ is shut down.

00:35:07 Dusah

So that's why she was so frantic.

00:35:09 Dusah

It was like, we got to go now.

00:35:10 Dusah

And like her eyes were bucked.

00:35:11 Dusah

She was like, right now.

00:35:12 Dusah

And I was like, oh, okay.

00:35:14 Dusah

So we go back there and they do the surgery and they had to give me 3 incisions and just so many other things happened.

00:35:21 Dusah

Like it looked like I was nine months pregnant.

00:35:24 Dusah

I was swollen.

00:35:24 Dusah

I was going through so many things.

00:35:26 Dusah

And at the same time, I was having these fever dreams.

00:35:29 Dusah

One side of it, I was showing this vision of me, of who I was to be moving forward.

00:35:34 Dusah

Absolutely took my breath away.

00:35:35 Dusah

I was like, wow, how?

00:35:37 Dusah

And then the other side of that, I was met with all this trauma, this pain that I suppressed from that current relationship that I tried to hide and try to show up still in line, try to show up in my business.

00:35:47 Dusah

And it came up to meet me like that Callie Ma rage.

00:35:50 Dusah

Oh my goodness.

00:35:51 Dusah

And I was just like, I don't even want him here at the hospital.

00:35:57 Dusah

And so I had to meet with that.

00:35:58 Dusah

So at that same time, right, was when I was trying to have to turn in my manuscript.

00:36:03 Dusah

Well, not the manual manuscript, but the actual, the pitch just to even get the deal.

00:36:09 Merrily

Yeah.

00:36:09 Dusah

And so I get up, I ended up being in the hospital for three weeks.

00:36:12 Dusah

I come home, most intense pain ever.

00:36:15 Dusah

And I'm literally going to sleep, waking up, typing, typing, typing, trying to get it together, trying to get it turned in.

00:36:20 Dusah

Cause she's like, we really want, I really want to pitch you.

00:36:21 Dusah

And she's like, you got to give me deadlines.

00:36:23 Dusah

Cause if it's just like free flowing.

00:36:27 Merrily

Right.

00:36:27 Dusah

Sorry, I'm a projector and like all this other energy.

00:36:30 Dusah

And so, excuse me.

00:36:32 Dusah

So I was trying to meet that deadline.

00:36:34 Dusah

I was waking up.

00:36:34 Dusah

So I literally was putting my blood, sweat and tears into this.

00:36:37 Dusah

I was in so much pain getting that.

00:36:38 Dusah

Boom, they accepted it.

00:36:40 Dusah

And then.

00:36:41 Dusah

I almost didn't take the deal because there were people around.

00:36:43 Dusah

This is why you need to watch who you're around.

00:36:45 Dusah

Because it was like my ex, it was like his business partner.

00:36:47 Dusah

It was like a so-called friend of mine that I had at the time was like, well, you didn't need to take the deal because they only give you a small percentage of royalties and you know, you can just write a book yourself.

00:36:57 Dusah

And I was like, oh, okay.

00:36:58 Dusah

And I was like, let me listen to what I did.

00:37:01 Dusah

Why don't I try to ask for a higher advance?

00:37:05 Dusah

And then they accepted it, no problem.

00:37:07 Dusah

And I was like, damn, I should have went higher.

00:37:11 Dusah

go higher.

00:37:12 Dusah

It was literally almost double the amount that they originally quoted me.

00:37:15 Dusah

And then I was like, damn.

00:37:19 Dusah

But anyhow, I was very grateful.

00:37:20 Dusah

I was very grateful.

00:37:21 Dusah

And the deal went through.

00:37:23 Dusah

I really wish that I still worked with the UK department because there's the UK department who found me, but I won't.

00:37:29 Dusah

I'm grateful.

00:37:30 Dusah

The US is a whole other story, but I'm still grateful that the process happened.

00:37:34 Dusah

And that's how the book came to be.

00:37:35 Dusah

It's a total angel came.

00:37:37 Dusah

And

00:37:39 Dusah

it came from me knowing that I was like, okay, what do I write about?

00:37:42 Dusah

I have to write about what I know.

00:37:44 Dusah

What I know is the things that I've experienced, the things that have helped me along my path, helped me along my journey.

00:37:49 Dusah

And if I can do that, if I can overcome the brief things that I've told you about, not even telling you everything, to now where I'm at, then this is going to help somebody.

00:37:59 Dusah

And it's so crazy because me making the decision to leave that relationship that I was in for six years, I didn't have any money saved.

00:38:06 Dusah

I didn't have

00:38:07 Dusah

any plan, I just knew, something dropped in my head, okay, you gotta go to Mexico.

00:38:12 Dusah

I'm like, how?

00:38:12 Dusah

And I have two children.

00:38:13 Dusah

And like I said, nothing saved, but I just did it.

00:38:17 Dusah

And exactly this time last year, I was staying at my friend's house, crying myself to sleep over, the relationship ending.

00:38:24 Dusah

Also having the nudge, like that same divine guidance was like, also, pull back your offers.

00:38:30 Dusah

I'm like, well, how am I going to make money?

00:38:31 Dusah

You want me to go to Mexico?

00:38:32 Dusah

How am I going to go to Mexico?

00:38:34 Dusah

But I just had to listen.

00:38:35 Dusah

I just had to trust.

00:38:36 Dusah

And so I do that.

00:38:38 Dusah

And lo and behold, random checks start coming in the mail.

00:38:43 Dusah

Like random things started happening.

00:38:44 Dusah

And then I just focused.

00:38:46 Dusah

I locked in on my work.

00:38:48 Dusah

So I'm going back and forth between grieving and high priestess mode.

00:38:51 Dusah

And lo and behold, here I am, a year later, in exact-- Kepola.

00:38:59 Dusah

My son's right there.

00:39:00 Dusah

My cat for with the camera.

00:39:03 Dusah

What are you trying to do?

00:39:06 Dusah

Okay.

00:39:07 Merrily

Speaking of.

00:39:07 Merrily

Right.

00:39:08 Dusah

They're here with me in Mexico.

00:39:09 Dusah

So it's a beautiful experience.

00:39:16 Merrily

Wow, that is such a journey from your book.

00:39:20 Merrily

And like also, I keep thinking like cycles, right?

00:39:24 Merrily

Like as much as like,

00:39:27 Merrily

For me, this is my experience and this is why I think your book is so great because honestly, we think we've cleared the cycle and then it shows up again later, maybe in a different form, right?

00:39:38 Merrily

Like you've learned something from that clearing of that cycle, but then it shows up again in a different form.

00:39:43 Merrily

You're like, dang it, I thought I cleared that.

00:39:45 Dusah

Exactly.

00:39:46 Dusah

You're exactly right.

00:39:47 Dusah

Exactly right.

00:39:48 Dusah

I really, really feel like I got it right this time because even now with the people who, I'm not open myself to dating, but even when people approach me, I'm so

00:39:57 Dusah

selective.

00:39:57 Dusah

I'm so picky.

00:39:58 Dusah

I will not, this one guy wanted to try and date me and try to like talk about something I was wearing.

00:40:04 Dusah

I was like, absolutely not, because I've had it in the past where a man tries to talk to me about what I'm wearing.

00:40:08 Dusah

And I don't carry my, even if I did, but I don't carry myself like,

00:40:12 Dusah

whatever you want to call it, hoochie mama, whatever you want to say.

00:40:15 Dusah

I don't, but for you to have a say-so on what I wear, you don't have a right to say anything about me and like that.

00:40:21 Dusah

So I really have reclaimed so much of my power, even the way I show up online, because that also prompted me to take a, the same divine guidance said, take a year off of social media.

00:40:29 Dusah

Well, it didn't tell me how much time.

00:40:31 Dusah

It just said, take a step back.

00:40:32 Dusah

And it ended up being a whole year.

00:40:34 Dusah

And that's the thing, when you finally decide to embark on your soul's mission, this was me saying yes to that vision I was shown.

00:40:42 Dusah

that vision that I was shown in the hospital bed.

00:40:44 Dusah

And I'm like, okay, I got to fully trust in that mission, which means I also have to be very, and I say this lightly, because, okay, devoted.

00:40:51 Dusah

I'll say devoted instead of obedient.

00:40:53 Dusah

I had to be very devoted to that and listen, follow it step by step, not try to infuse my own thing inside of it.

00:40:59 Dusah

Because I could have been like, oh, I need money.

00:41:01 Dusah

Let me launch a course or let me do this.

00:41:03 Dusah

But that's another problem that's with the industry right now is that people are motivated by money and not necessarily like, what do I want to birth?

00:41:10 Dusah

They're more concerned with, I need money right now.

00:41:12 Dusah

And so I was like, I will absolutely not do that in trusting and having that divine faith.

00:41:16 Dusah

And now here I am.

00:41:18 Dusah

And that's why I literally cry tears of bliss nowadays, because I'm like, wow, I'm in the exact space that I was shown that I would be in and growing.

00:41:27 Dusah

So now I get chills when I think about 2026, because I'm like, this is just the beginning and it's happening, it's unfolding.

00:41:33 Dusah

And all I had to do was be in stillness, listen, follow the cues,

00:41:37 Dusah

and take that next step to cross that threshold, even when the steps weren't there to jump and literally say, hey, universe, catch me, wee.

00:41:46 Merrily

Yeah, right.

00:41:48 Merrily

Yeah, it's all about being sort of receptive.

00:41:51 Merrily

And so with that, sort of like the receptive, and then obviously you're very in touch with like sort of the divine feminine.

00:42:00 Merrily

So like, why, is the divine feminine so essential for us in these times today?

00:42:07 Dusah

Oh, such a beautiful question.

00:42:08 Dusah

And it's so important.

00:42:11 Dusah

And I addressed a lot, like I speak to the feminine aspect in the book solely because that's my lived experience, but really this book is for everyone.

00:42:20 Dusah

Those who don't identify as female, those who have women in their life and they want to know how to create the necessary environment for the goddess to flower.

00:42:28 Dusah

But I think it's so important right now because you think about

00:42:32 Dusah

Back when there were a lot of cultures who did practice, it was goddess worship.

00:42:36 Dusah

They worshiped the land, they worshiped the earth, they understood and had reverence for the goddess.

00:42:42 Dusah

A lot of those temples were defaced.

00:42:44 Dusah

A lot of those religions were wiped away, or practices, spiritual practices were wiped away, and they were given a different religion.

00:42:50 Dusah

And with that came sort of this very father, masculine, dictatorship, like just very, just like divide and conquer energy.

00:43:01 Dusah

And

00:43:02 Dusah

So the feminine has been suppressed.

00:43:04 Dusah

So we need to not, and it's not to do, because this is what happens in cycles too, right?

00:43:09 Dusah

Sometimes you think, well, maybe I'll do the opposite.

00:43:10 Dusah

And it's like, no, that's not the answer.

00:43:12 Dusah

The answer is not to like, make the divine feminine surpass the masculine.

00:43:16 Dusah

It's like, let's bring her back up into reverence.

00:43:19 Dusah

So maybe there won't be wars.

00:43:20 Dusah

Maybe there won't be, you know, females feeling like they are playing small.

00:43:25 Dusah

They're in relationships where they're not letting the full spectrum of them shine.

00:43:28 Dusah

Like, we just need to bring back that reverence because I feel like if we did,

00:43:32 Dusah

we wouldn't harm the earth like we did.

00:43:34 Dusah

We wouldn't, you know, be so, I want to take over.

00:43:37 Dusah

I want to take, take, take, take, take.

00:43:39 Dusah

You know, the mother is nurturing.

00:43:40 Dusah

It's this nurturing energy.

00:43:42 Dusah

And whenever there's this imbalance, there's going to be issues.

00:43:44 Dusah

It's going to be trouble.

00:43:45 Dusah

So I think it's highly important so that we can start to bring this equilibrium back into society.

00:43:51 Merrily

Yeah, I think that's so beautiful.

00:43:52 Merrily

Yeah.

00:43:53 Merrily

And I always think about it in these, and they, especially in our current time, it's like,

00:43:58 Merrily

there's a lot of talk about being kind to the earth and stuff like that, but I'm like, but we're not though.

00:44:04 Merrily

We're not.

00:44:05 Merrily

We're not.

00:44:05 Merrily

And that's like the feminine, right?

00:44:08 Merrily

It's where we live.

00:44:09 Merrily

It's like our womb.

00:44:10 Merrily

It's where everything comes from.

00:44:12 Merrily

It's our nurturing energy.

00:44:14 Merrily

And like, I think we're getting a lot better as a species, but you know, like just a little bit more of the feminine energy, I think is gonna be great.

00:44:25 Dusah

Exactly.

00:44:25 Dusah

And it's almost like this thing too, in terms of women reclaiming their voices.

00:44:29 Merrily

Oh, 100%.

00:44:30 Dusah

It's a scary thing to do though, right?

00:44:32 Dusah

Because even with me at the culmination of my book, I got terrified.

00:44:36 Dusah

Like first, I was super excited.

00:44:37 Dusah

I was like, oh, this is good.

00:44:38 Dusah

I was like, I don't care who.

00:44:39 Dusah

This is the first thing.

00:44:41 Dusah

And I can honestly say this.

00:44:42 Dusah

Out of all the things I've created in my life, this is the first thing I've created where I was like, I don't care what anyone else thinks.

00:44:47 Dusah

This is good.

00:44:48 Dusah

And I started crying because I felt, literally felt my ancestors standing behind me, like cheering me on, like, you did it.

00:44:55 Dusah

Like, look at you, did it.

00:44:56 Dusah

And I was just crying.

00:44:58 Dusah

But after that, as things started to settle in, as we got the cover, as we got the, you know, it's posted up that the book is for sale,

00:45:05 Dusah

I was like, oh my gosh, because now I hear my grandmother.

00:45:07 Dusah

My grandmother's been bigging me up to the church, and she's been like, oh, granddaughter's an author.

00:45:12 Dusah

I'm like, this is not the kind of book you want to bring to church.

00:45:15 Dusah

But I'm an angel in her eyes.

00:45:17 Dusah

She sees me wrong.

00:45:18 Dusah

And it's not that these practices are wrong, because even with this, can you believe that I sent out an e-mail informing people because I'd been gone a long time, and I was like, hey, this is where I've been.

00:45:28 Dusah

Very heart-to-heart message, and I talked about the book, and this one woman responds, and she's like,

00:45:33 Dusah

you need Jesus and I can offer you salvation right now for all the demonic stuff that you're doing.

00:45:37 Dusah

And I didn't respond to this.

00:45:38 Dusah

I don't give any of that stuff energy.

00:45:40 Dusah

But in my head, I'm thinking like, what, hugging trees is wrong?

00:45:43 Dusah

Like saying thank you to Father Sky and the sun is wrong.

00:45:48 Dusah

Bowing to the sun is wrong.

00:45:49 Dusah

You know, it's like, and I guarantee you I'm more deeply connected to the divine than you are because you would not come to me like this with this hateful energy.

00:45:57 Dusah

But I got nervous because I'm like, wow, this is my truth.

00:46:01 Dusah

These are my practices.

00:46:02 Dusah

Each chapter

00:46:03 Dusah

comes with a ritual.

00:46:04 Dusah

And I called it Sacred Action, but it's still a ritual.

00:46:08 Dusah

Each chapter has a ritual attached to it.

00:46:10 Dusah

And there's this sort of subconscious fear, or was this fear of like, wow, this is the kind of stuff where people got burned at the stick for in the past.

00:46:20 Dusah

This is me showing who I am.

00:46:23 Dusah

But we just have to do that.

00:46:25 Dusah

We have to live in our truth.

00:46:26 Dusah

And I just really feel in my body that

00:46:28 Dusah

you know, that will not happen.

00:46:30 Dusah

Like, yeah, like there, there's different forms of this happening with the trolls, the internet trolls, something like that, you know?

00:46:37 Dusah

But it's going to do more good than harm for women to reclaim their voice, to reclaim their power, reclaim their sovereignty.

00:46:44 Merrily

Oh, I love thinking about that.

00:46:45 Merrily

That's so wonderful.

00:46:46 Merrily

Like, even with all the gunk that would come with you being public, right, and an author and your ideas and things that you're sharing, it's, the good is

00:46:56 Merrily

way outweighed than what's going with it.

00:46:59 Merrily

So I love that perspective.

00:47:00 Dusah

Thank you.

00:47:01 Merrily

Oh, just a couple more questions.

00:47:04 Merrily

I love, oh, it's so great to talk with you.

00:47:07 Dusah

I love this energy so much.

00:47:08 Dusah

Yes.

00:47:09 Merrily

Can I say this is like my favorite energy?

00:47:11 Dusah

I love it.

00:47:15 Merrily

I love that.

00:47:16 Merrily

Thank you so much.

00:47:17 Merrily

How do you feel that, because you'd mentioned there's rituals in your chapters, like why did you decide to include rituals and why ritual?

00:47:26 Merrily

What's important about rituals?

00:47:28 Dusah

So I kind of wanted, there's a couple of different things to this.

00:47:32 Dusah

I wanted to demystify, one of my favorite chapters is the world is your altar.

00:47:38 Dusah

I think that's the one that I do this with.

00:47:40 Dusah

I kind of stepped away because I didn't want to start nitpicking at it again.

00:47:43 Dusah

But I think it's the world is your altering chapter where I start demystifying what it can mean to be in practice, to be in ritual.

00:47:52 Dusah

I start seeing things like, okay, when you open a door, you can visualize you're walking on the other side to your highest self.

00:47:57 Dusah

So then everyday life becomes magic.

00:47:59 Dusah

I want to lessen what it means to be in tune in that sort of magical state with your surroundings to where, yeah, you could go grab these tools and you can go do XYZ.

00:48:10 Dusah

But our ancestors, they used their body, they used their voice, they used their hands, And so there are some that require maybe candles, water, things like that.

00:48:19 Dusah

But for the most part, there's a lot of them in there where it's just requiring you and your body.

00:48:25 Dusah

I feel like it's one thing to read, but we need to put into action.

00:48:28 Dusah

Because also what's happening right now is that there's a lot of regurgitation.

00:48:32 Dusah

There's a lot of people who intellectually are smart, who can quote to you X, Y, Z, but they're not embodied.

00:48:39 Dusah

They haven't physically experienced what they're speaking about.

00:48:43 Dusah

And you can tell.

00:48:43 Dusah

Especially since I've taken this year-long break, I can't even be on social media.

00:48:47 Dusah

I log in, I post.

00:48:49 Dusah

If there's a friend that I see right there after I post, I may like and comment, and then I'm out of there.

00:48:54 Dusah

Right.

00:48:54 Dusah

Because it's just, it's so filled with noise.

00:48:57 Dusah

And I'm like, not the noise.

00:49:00 Merrily

Yes.

00:49:01 Dusah

And so this is a way of like, okay, so you're gonna read about this, but now let's also cement this.

00:49:07 Dusah

Let's like go ahead and rewire this within our body.

00:49:11 Dusah

And so that it can really be felt grown deep and not just surface level in the head.

00:49:16 Merrily

Wow, I love that so much.

00:49:17 Merrily

Oh, yes.

00:49:19 Merrily

Definitely in sort of my practice as well, there's a lot of like, because I kind of come from the Western ceremonial tradition and there's a lot of like what I would call like egghead, like just people like who know everything about what's in the book, but it's like they don't actually like go and be embodied, which I think is as a human being, living our experiences as a human being, that's important.

00:49:41 Merrily

to like literally move your body and say the words.

00:49:44 Merrily

And so I love that that is your perspective for for including those rituals, because I think it's huge, huge.

00:49:51 Dusah

Thank you.

00:49:52 Dusah

Thank you.

00:49:52 Dusah

I really appreciate that.

00:49:53 Dusah

Because it really is.

00:49:54 Dusah

It's that's how my life became more magical is when I just started to, you know, practice animism and practice like admiring and having gratitude for everything around me and my world literally like even right now, it literally feels like the cosmos are flirting with me.

00:50:09 Dusah

I'm like, this cannot be

00:50:11 Dusah

Like, what are you guys doing?

00:50:12 Dusah

Like, this is so much fun.

00:50:14 Dusah

You like me.

00:50:15 Dusah

You're really me.

00:50:17 Dusah

Right.

00:50:17 Dusah

Because that's what happens when you give gratitude and when you are in that divine connection and you're deeply connected to your intuition.

00:50:24 Dusah

You're connected to your divine counsel.

00:50:25 Dusah

You're following, you know, the instructions, the sacred instructions, the sacred actions and life can truly be beautiful.

00:50:32 Dusah

And I

00:50:34 Dusah

I've come to believe that now my path moving forward is more so, one, showing people how to be decent human beings again, because I feel like with all the social media, we've forgotten how to have true community, true tribe, and true connection.

00:50:47 Dusah

Nowadays, people speak to you in memes and reels.

00:50:49 Dusah

They'll say you a reel to tell you how they feel, as opposed to telling you how they feel, you know?

00:50:53 Dusah

And it's like, no, like, can we get to that true connection?

00:50:57 Dusah

And

00:50:58 Dusah

just learn how to live supernaturally at the same time, right?

00:51:01 Dusah

That's being that human being, but that's living a supernatural life and understand that I'm not special, like to have this happen for me, whatever it is in your mind that you're desiring can happen for you too, as long as you tap into that, you know, and believe in that, so.

00:51:15 Merrily

Yeah, beautifully said, oh my goodness.

00:51:20 Merrily

Oh yeah, so can we tell everybody like, when's your book coming out?

00:51:24 Merrily

Where can we get it?

00:51:27 Merrily

I know you're kind of stepping away from social media, but where can people find you?

00:51:30 Merrily

All the good stuff.

00:51:32 Dusah

I'm re-emerging now.

00:51:33 Dusah

I'm trying to show up, but I'm doing it more wisely, you know?

00:51:38 Dusah

I'm doing it not from a space of what do people want from me, just more so what makes me feel good.

00:51:42 Dusah

Like, I'm gonna start moving more into my artistry, my filmmaking, music, sharing that more.

00:51:48 Dusah

And to see that it's being received well, and I'm just like, okay, I like this.

00:51:53 Dusah

You know what's so funny, 'cause I have,

00:51:55 Dusah

I've always not really paid attention to threats.

00:51:57 Dusah

It was always like an afterthought.

00:51:59 Dusah

But lately, because I'm like, okay, it's time to show up because I've been in so much stillness now.

00:52:02 Dusah

I'm like, okay, it's one thing to create something and all my artists know this, but you create something, but then it's a whole other animal when it's time to share it.

00:52:11 Dusah

Oh my God, yeah.

00:52:11 Dusah

So many artists out there, I guarantee you, there are so many artists out there who are sitting on some brilliant stuff who aren't sharing it.

00:52:18 Dusah

So share it.

00:52:19 Dusah

If you're listening to this, like share that.

00:52:22 Dusah

So I'm like, I got to give this due diligence and start showing up and start talking about it.

00:52:26 Dusah

And I go over to Threads to talk about it.

00:52:30 Dusah

And I look at when I just make like a regular caption.

00:52:34 Dusah

No really, not much attention.

00:52:35 Dusah

If I post a video of something else that's not me, not much attention.

00:52:38 Dusah

I post a photo of me in a little saying, it does crazy numbers.

00:52:41 Dusah

I'm like, you guys like want me to be?

00:52:43 Dusah

I'm like, well, that's easy.

00:52:44 Dusah

I can just post a photo.

00:52:45 Dusah

And each time I post a photo and write a little caption, it goes crazy.

00:52:49 Dusah

I'm like, all right, my life is becoming easier because now I just gotta go find some photos and post.

00:52:53 Dusah

And it's becoming easier too with social media in terms of like Instagram of just me, what do I want to post, my poetry, the things that I want to do and have it fun that way.

00:53:02 Dusah

So they can still find me on social media now and then.

00:53:06 Dusah

I'm serpent.goddess on both Instagram and both TikTok and should be threads too.

00:53:14 Dusah

And

00:53:15 Dusah

So the book comes out on Tuesday.

00:53:18 Merrily

On this Tuesday?

00:53:19 Merrily

Oh my gosh, that's so exciting.

00:53:21 Dusah

I don't know when this is going to air.

00:53:22 Merrily

Yeah, might be after that.

00:53:24 Merrily

Yeah, Go get it, everybody.

00:53:25 Dusah

Because we wanted to connect before, but I'm in Mexico, the Wi-Fi was doing its thing.

00:53:31 Dusah

But it comes out December 2nd, and it's available everywhere.

00:53:36 Dusah

Books are sold.

00:53:37 Dusah

So you can get it at your local bookstore by, if they don't have it, you can order it online and then pick it up from your local bookstore.

00:53:44 Dusah

It's at Barnes and Nobles, Amazon, Target, all these sorts of things.

00:53:47 Dusah

It's a, well, I don't talk about Target, but.

00:53:52 Merrily

Oh, Target.

00:53:55 Dusah

I'm inviting you to shop locally when possible.

00:53:58 Dusah

Yeah.

00:53:59 Merrily

Oh, that's so wonderful.

00:54:00 Merrily

I'm so glad.

00:54:01 Merrily

Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get a copy because I love

00:54:05 Merrily

the idea of the book, and I love that, your perspective on it.

00:54:08 Merrily

So everybody get a copy is listening.

00:54:10 Dusah

Please, because here's the other thing, right?

00:54:12 Dusah

I'm with a major publisher, but please support me.

00:54:19 Merrily

Yes.

00:54:21 Dusah

Because like, yeah, it's really, you guys need to support authors because just because they're with a major publishing company, it's all on the author.

00:54:29 Dusah

It's all on them to show up and to remote.

00:54:31 Dusah

They're not pushing the engine.

00:54:33 Dusah

It's on me.

00:54:33 Dusah

So

00:54:35 Dusah

support the work.

00:54:35 Dusah

If you want to see more diverse voices, if you want to see more people with like authentic embodied wisdom, you have to support them so that it can make room for more of those authors to come through.

00:54:44 Merrily

Yeah, beautiful, beautiful message about that.

00:54:47 Merrily

So yes, everybody definitely support your favorite authors who are doing their own unique, wonderful work.

00:54:52 Merrily

Dusa for sure.

00:54:54 Merrily

So excited for you.

00:54:57 Merrily

And so we always end with like,

00:55:01 Merrily

What words of wisdom would you like to leave us with today after you've shared so much?

00:55:05 Merrily

I want to pull some more from you.

00:55:15 Dusah

I feel like

00:55:19 Dusah

I want to encourage you, wherever you are, wherever you may be in life, 'cause this year has been a nine year.

00:55:25 Dusah

It's been a year about breaking these cycles, about shedding.

00:55:28 Dusah

This was not on purpose that even that my book is coming out during this nine year called Dear Cycle Breaker, Divinely Guidance.

00:55:36 Dusah

Shed what needs to be shed.

00:55:38 Dusah

Release what needs to be released.

00:55:40 Dusah

Let go of what needs to be let go of so you can travel lighter, so that you can start to believe in yourself again.

00:55:47 Dusah

And to know that it's only been you standing in your own way.

00:55:50 Dusah

Nothing else can prevent the level of prosperity, the level of abundance, the level of joy and happiness that's for you.

00:55:58 Dusah

Nothing can stop that but you.

00:55:59 Dusah

So why wait?

00:56:01 Dusah

We don't know when we're gonna have our next, you know, inhale, exhale.

00:56:04 Dusah

We don't know when it's gonna be the last exhale.

00:56:06 Dusah

We gotta be grateful for each and every single breath.

00:56:08 Dusah

So why not live life fully turned on as if like your life is ecstasy.

00:56:15 Dusah

Because we just don't know.

00:56:16 Dusah

And the only thing that's stopping that from happening is you.

00:56:18 Dusah

It's how you're responding to your life.

00:56:20 Dusah

It's how you're responding to the cycles.

00:56:22 Dusah

So become aware of them, dismantle them, and do what needs to happen so that you can live out your soul's mission.

00:56:28 Dusah

Because we need more embodied beings living out their soul's purpose and to enjoy life to the fullest.

00:56:36 Merrily

Beautiful, beautiful, of course.

00:56:37 Merrily

Beautiful message.

00:56:39 Merrily

Oh my goodness.

00:56:39 Merrily

Well, thank you so much, Dusa.

00:56:41 Merrily

I'm so happy we got connected and I'm so excited for you and wonderful work.

00:56:46 Merrily

Yeah, let's put the energy that your book's going to do some gangbusters and- Yay! Amazing.

00:56:54 Dusah

Yes.

00:56:54 Dusah

More magic.

00:56:55 Merrily

More magic.

00:56:55 Merrily

We need that in the world, for sure.

00:56:58 Dusah

I really, really, really appreciate you.

00:57:00 Dusah

I don't even want this to be the last time.

00:57:02 Dusah

May we meet together again, maybe meet in person, like make this connection strengthen because I'm truly grateful.

00:57:09 Dusah

And it truly feels good, especially coming off this long break, to be in a space that feels so safe.

00:57:14 Dusah

You feel so safe.

00:57:15 Dusah

So thank you for feeling safe, and thank you for welcoming me and letting me be my full expression.

00:57:19 Dusah

I really thank you.

00:57:20 Merrily

Absolutely.

00:57:21 Merrily

Thank you so much.

00:57:21 Merrily

That's so lovely.

00:57:23 Merrily

Oh my goodness.

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EPISODE 59 - DUSAH WISEMAN aka Serpent Goddess

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